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Below, Ben Rein shares five key insights from his new book, Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. Ben is an award-winning neuroscientist who has spent a decade studying the biology of social interaction. He is the chief science officer of the Mind Science Foundation, an adjunct lecturer at Stanford University, and a clinical assistant professor at SUNY Buffalo. He also teaches neuroscience to an audience of more than 1 million social media followers. Whats the big idea? Loneliness is a problem. Many of us feel this, and all of us are seeing it affect society. But why is isolation so harmful? Why are virtual interactions a poor substitute for getting together in person? What does our brain get out of spending time with a friend? The neuroscience underlying our social interactions adds a crucial component to conversations about the loneliness epidemic and what we can do about it. Listen to the audio version of this Book Biteread by Ben himselfbelow, or in the Next Big Idea App. 1. Our brains are wired for connection What does it really mean to be wired for connection? In the ancient world, our ancestors faced tremendous challenges, including food scarcity and predators hunting them. Survival was challenging, but humans work together in groups very well. So, when it came to survival of the fittest, the most social humans were the fittest. As a result, our brains have built-in social reward systems. That means when we connect with others, our brains send powerful signals involving neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which make us feel good and want to continue socializing. This was the glue that kept us together millennia ago and, therefore, kept us alive. Our brains still have these systems, which means we have a lot to gain from socializing. This is what it means to be wired for connection. Our brains literally reward us for being around each other. 2. Our neurochemistry faces the challenge of a divided world We are facing a legitimate public health crisis around loneliness. If you look at the data on how much time people spend with others, how many friends people have, how lonely people are, and so on, these metrics are all going in the wrong direction. Between 2013 and 2021, the amount of time the average American spent alone went up by 36 hours per monthalmost a full work week spent in isolation. We are truly becoming isolated. 3. Social isolation is a form of stress When a person is isolated, their body triggers a stress response in which cortisol levels begin to rise. From an evolutionary perspective, this makes a lot of sense. In the ancient world, if you were split off from the group, your chances of survival dropped significantly. Back then, it would have been beneficial to have an alarm system in your brain that warns you of this danger. Our brains still have this system, but in a world where were spending more time alone, thats a problem. Those who are more isolated are 32% more likely to die from any cause. When our bodys stress response systems are constantly being activated, it can result in chronic inflammation and other negative health consequences. Isolation is very bad for us. Studies tracking millions of people have found that those who are more isolated are 32% more likely to die from any cause. Isolated patients with dementia lose their memory twice as fast. And after having a heart attack, the patients who left the hospital and returned to a home where they live alone were more than twice as likely to die in the next three years. This issue needs to be taken seriously. 4. Digital interactions are not the same as interacting in person When we meet face-to-face, many social cues inform our brains about whats happening in the other persons mind. We can hear their vocal tone, read their facial expressions, and feel their body language, thereby understanding their emotions. But when we interact online, whether through texting, FaceTime, or arguing on social media apps, we are not getting the same social cues. I believe that this is impairing our empathy online and leading to undue hostility and aggression. What we know for sure is that interacting online does not provide the same benefits as interacting in person. It turns out social media may not be very social at all. 5. Beyond modern circumstances, our brains have some built-in social pitfalls Research shows that people underestimate how much theyll enjoy social interactions, which can often lead to a night on the couch, even though going out with friends would have been much better for their brains. We also underestimate how much others like us and discount our own social skills. These are just a few of the strange yet perfectly natural biological shortcomings of the human brain that prevent us from connecting with others. Enjoy our full library of Book Bitesread by the authors!in the Next Big Idea app. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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E-Commerce
Todays job market is more ruthless than ever, leaving many desperately clinging to their roles amid mass layoffs and side-eyeing the competition. In such environments, a rival colleague or workplace nemesis may make themselves known. Watching a smug colleague get called out for a mistake in a meeting or blundering a promotion is often deeply satisfying (even if we may not admit it). Many know the German name for this impulse, schadenfreude: pleasure derived by anothers misfortune. But another, more work-related term that has emerged recently is fail watching: a coping strategy born from todays challenging job market as a way to make us feel better about our own position. Research has shown that seeing others fail can give us a self-affirming boost. Those with low self-esteem are more likely to be threatened by overachievers (and to enjoy watching them fall flat on their face). These reactions are simply human nature. Yet there are nuances to reveling in others’ misfortunes: from a fleeting, vindictive thought to public gloating or workplace bullying. This phenomenon is a symptom of a lack of trust within the team, with employees waiting with bated breath for someone to mess up, Peter Duris, CEO of Kickresume, tells Fast Company. Youre much less likely to see it in a healthy workplace where everyone feels supported. Fail watching is far likelier to occur in workplaces that dont recognize and reward their employees’ contributions. At present, only 30% of U.S employees feel that someone at work encourages their development, down from 36% in March 2020, one 2025 Gallup survey found. Duris also links fail watching to Gen Z employees due to the immense pressure younger workers are facing from all angles. Many have had to really fight to get their foot in the door, he says. In the current hiring slump, applicants submitting a résumé today have just a 0.4% chance of actually landing the job, according to Business Insider. Fresh graduates are being hit hardest, with global entry-level job postings falling 29% since January 2024, according to World Economic Forum data. The competition doesnt stop there. Researchers from Zurich University found that highly competitive working environments foster the perfect conditions for emergence and development of schadenfreude. Its understandable to feel somewhat reassured if someone else is finding things tough at work when you are too. But theres a big difference between this and praying for someones downfall. If you notice someone struggling, the best way to respond is to offer help if you can, or just be kind and supportive. If another colleague tries to gossip with you about a coworkers recent failure, change the subjector at least save it for outside of work hours. As the age-old adage goes: If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all.
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E-Commerce
Lately, at every networking event or leadership roundtable, Im hearing the same things on repeat. CEOs are focused on growth in an uncertain context. HR leaders are worried about retention and employee burnout. Managers are trying to figure out how to build connection in hybrid workplaces that feel more transactional by the day. Everyone is chasing new strategies for engagement, inclusion, and belongingyet most are overlooking one of the simplest, most powerful tools we all have: mentorship. In an age where technology evolves faster than people can keep up, mentorship is the real accelerator. Its how knowledge sticks, how culture travels, and how innovation spreads. The companies that will win the next decade arent just the ones adopting AItheyre the ones teaching their people how to keep learning, growing, and lifting the next generation of leaders as they climb. The reality is that the workforce is changing in ways that we have never experienced before. Innovations have shifted the way we operate. Roles and responsibilities have changed. And in August, U.S. unemployment rose again, all while the number of new entrants getting jobs decreased by almost 200,000 (compared to the previous month). Were watching a generational disconnect unfold in real time. The Harris Poll found that nearly half (45%) of Gen Z job seekers feel AI has made their college education irrelevant, and over half (51%) viewed their degrees as a “waste of money.” This is a striking signal that the promise of education no longer feels aligned with the realities of todays workplace. This isnt just about the cost of collegeits about the gap between whats taught in classrooms and whats needed to thrive beyond them. Employers see the same cracks: Theyre struggling to find qualified candidates even as millions of capable young people are eagerbut unsure howto start. I talk to a lot of peoplenonprofit professionals, business leaders, researchers, and parents of young adults like myself. But its often the conversations directly with young people that reveal the challenge, and the solution, most clearly. Take Josue. He graduated from college this spring and possesses a sharp wit, a creative mind, and a dream of working in the legal field. But like so many first-generation and lower-income students, he was weighing that dream against financial reality. Was law school even an option? Through a network of mentors, Josue connected with a seasoned legal professional who opened his eyes to career paths he didnt even know existed, roles in the legal field that didnt require a law degree. In just a few conversations, that mentor helped him explore options, prepare applications, and gain the confidence to take the next step. Josue is currently working at a law firm, in a job that he loves. This simple act of mentorship provided career exposure and set Josue on a new trajectory in life. But thats not the reality for all young people navigating the workforce today. Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, in partnership with the Harris Poll, surveyed 1,000 Gen Z youth from across the country and found that only 41% felt high confidence navigating todays job market. At the same time, the data showed that 83% of young adults believe a mentor could help them as they enter the workforce. Young people want mentorship support, even if the mentor doesnt have all the answers. In fact, 84% of mentored young people attribute their mentors to opening doors to opportunities they didnt know existed. Guidance from a mentor can not only help a young person navigate their entrance to the workforce but can also cultivate the next generation of leaders, foster loyalty, and strengthen workplace culture. Consider also that HR leaders need confident employees with durable skills, like communication, adaptability, and teamwork. These are all skills that young people attain through mentorship. Companies with mentoring cultures see increased retention, innovation, and employee engagement. In fact, it benefits them just as much as it benefits young people. For example, UPS has created career exploration opportunities for young people so they can see the careers that exist within the shipping and logistics industry and ask questions. Mentorship holistically supports a stronger, more diverse talent pipeline. Todays leaders are leaning in by creating access for young people in ways that we can scale. Think back to a moment when you needed a nudge or a champion, who was the person who did that for youthe mentor who helped you see possibilities you couldnt yet imagine? Where would you be without them? So, before your next strategy meeting or AI pilot, ask a Gen Z employee whats helping them navigate the uncertainty of work and life right now. You wont hear about new tools or training modulesyoull hear about people. Someone who listens, believes in them, and shows them the next step forward. Thats the opportunity in front of us. To make sure every young person, in every workplace, has access to mentorship. Because the real measure of leadership isnt just how fast we moveits how many people we bring with us.
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