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Jim Ferrell is a best-selling author and thought leader whose work explores leadership, culture change, and human connection. As cofounder of the Arbinger Institute, he authored influential books like Leadership and Self-Deception, The Anatomy of Peace, and The Outward Mindset. He now leads Withiii Leadership, focusing on helping people apply relational approaches to leadership and organizational life, which he introduces in his newest book, You and We: A Relational Rethinking of Work, Life, and Leadership. With a background in economics, philosophy, and law, he is known for translating complex ideas into clear, transformative models that bridge divides and bring people together. Whats the big idea? You and We aims to help you see work and relationships in a whole new way. It details a practical framework, rooted in philosophy, for leading and running organizations. This approach is effective in business but also offers a powerful method for stitching the human family together in the face of our many threats. Below, Jim shares five key insights from his new book, You and We: A Relational Rethinking of Work, Life, and Leadership. Listen to the audio versionread by Jim himselfbelow, or in the Next Big Idea app. 1. Management of the individual is dead For most of modern history, weve treated individuals as the core unit of analysis in organizationsas if each person is a dot on a chart, and performance is about optimizing those dots. But heres the problem with this approach: The idea of a separate individual is a myth, and because its a myth, the strategies that mistake it as true generate systematically poor advice. Every individual you think you are seeing is relation in disguise. When you are seeing another person, you are the one who is doing the seeing. Since you are the one who is seeing, you are not seeing a person or world separate from yourself, but rather seeing your interaction with the world. This inherent relationality of observed reality is the most important scientific discovery of the last century. When we observe and measure the world, were not observing and measuring a world separate from ourselves; were observing and measuring our own interaction or relation with the world and the worlds interaction with us. As the great physicist Werner Heisenberg said, What we observe is not Nature itself, but Nature exposed to our method of questioning. Everything we see is relation. Coming back to the dot analogy, the real driver of performance is not in the dots on the org chart. Its in the space or relation between them. Its in the connectivity within and between teams and departments. Team-sport coaches know this. Listen to the winning coach after a game and you will often hear them say something like, We had great connectivity tonight. What the coach means is that they won not primarily because of individual talent, but because that talent moved and functioned as a fully synchronized whole. The leadership paradigm of the future is the measurement and management of relations. 2. The 5 levels of relation The most important part of any org chart is the space between the names and boxes on the chart. Thats where the action iswhere collaboration either lives or dies. This space between people isnt just a metaphor. Its a measurable, changeable reality. Collectively, it forms what you might think of as the relational field of your organization. This relational fieldthe levels of connectivity across your organizationis most predictive of organizational success. To see and measure this space, we first need a way to differentiate between levels of relation. I introduce five levels of relation: Division: People or teams that get in each others way are dividing. Subtraction: Those who resist or avoid others are subtracting. Addition: People or teams just focusing on their own work are adding. Multiplication: Those who are collaborating with others are multiplying. Compounding: People who care as much about others success as their own and integrate their work in deep ways to advance their collective success are compounding. With these levels of relation in mind, you can map team and organizational connectivity levels and, applying strategic priorities, decide which relational intersections across the system need to be improved. When you can see and track these levels of relation, you can start improving them intentionally and systematically. 3. Thinking in 4 dimensions To improve the connectivity levels in your organization, let me introduce a lens that I call the Four-Dimensional Playing Field. Every organization is, on the one hand, a collectivea thing, one unit. On the other hand, this collective is made up of many individuals. Both the organization and the individuals that comprise it have outsides (things you can see) and insides (things you cant see but can sense or feel). On the individual side are peoples behaviors (which you can see) and their attitudes (which you can sense or feel). Regarding the collective, you can see its structures, systems, and processes, but you can only sense or feel its culture or community. You build your playing field in such a way as to maximize connectivity. These two distinctionscollective vs. individual on the one hand and outsides vs. insides on the otherproduce a four-dimensional view of organizations. The two individual dimensions are individual behaviors and attitudes. The two collective dimensions are the groups structures and culture. Together, these four dimensions form the playing field of every organization. The realities within them are the levers you can pull to improve connectivity across a system. Elements that are dragging connectivity down can be replaced with features that provide connective lift. You build your playing field in such a way as to maximize connectivity. 4. Understanding connection I thought I had understood human connection. However, I had only really understood how to get myself and others to the multiplication level of relation. The highest level, compoundingboth as an idea and as a realityhad been beyond me. We assume that we are separate from others, that the world is divided between I and Other (or between Us and Them). But this is a mistake. Martin Buber shows there is no such thing as a separate-I, but only I-in-relation. The trouble is that despite being fundamentally connected, we live much of the time as if we were divided from others. We get ourselves stuck within our own heads. We generate our own separations by encountering others through the filters of our thoughts, assumptions, judgments, and concepts, which is just another way of encountering ourselves. When we learn how we do this, we also learn how to undo it. Getting stuck in our heads keeps us from connecting because connection happens in the space betwee people rather than in our minds. To connect, we have to learn how to escape the walls of our heads; drop the concepts, assumptions, and goals; and be present with others in the space between us. 5. The importance of difference When thinking about integration and unity, we often assume that this means agreement, giving in, complying, or becoming more similar. But this is incorrect. As an analogy, consider water. If two hydrogen atoms combine with a single oxygen atom, something completely beyond the capabilities of hydrogen or oxygen alone comes into being: water. This is an example of the law of progress. Whether talking about matter, life, or thought, vertical development arises from a three-part process: First, differences need to compress together. Then, if those differences open themselves to each other, they can overcome their apparent divides and converge. Out of this convergence of differences emerges something entirely new. For this transformation to happen, the elements need to retain their differences. Hydrogen atoms need to remain hydrogen, and oxygen atoms need to remain oxygen, for water to appear. Progress requires that we value and hold to our differences. If we stay only with our own kind, or only with our own thoughts, we will remain exactly as we already are. Progress requires connection with difference. Compress, converge, emerge. That is the arc of vertical progress. Learning to connect with difference is the path of growth. One way to incline oneself in the direction of this growth is to always be looking for what I call the next we. Maybe I hang out with or listen to people who are like me, but what about people who are unlike me? Or who dislike me? How about those who oppose me? Or even those who might hate me? Without realizing it, we draw lines in our minds that keep us cut off from others. Those who are currently outside whatever line you have drawn hold the key to your growth and transformation. The thing we need to progressdifferencelies on the other side of that line. Learning to connect with difference is the path of growth. And thats true not only of you, but also of your company and your community. The lines we draw are merely the places where differences meet. Your company and your community need people who are willing and able to bridge those divides. Only then will you be able to make water. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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E-Commerce
The most radical career transformation doesnt require you to quit your job. You can create your own personal revolution right from where you are. You can transform yourself on the job to build a career that can survive the future of work. Career transformation is personal. Its within your power to reinvent yourself on the job. Most people dont, until they are forced to do it. Or when its too late. But you can create your own career reinvention. You don’t have to wait for what you deserve, sit tight for that promotion or the raise. Your transformation is all up to you. Here are three ways to do that. None of them is easy. But all of them are possible. 1. Run tiny experiments Treat your job like a lab. A micro-experiment is a small, low-risk project that tests a hypothesis you have. That can mean testing new tools, volunteering for projects that scare you. Or learning how other skills in a different domain can help you work better. Think your company could benefit from a new AI tool? Build a mini-guide on how it would work. If you believe a process is inefficient, create a new one and show it to someone who will take it seriously. These experiments may have no formal ROI. But their value is in the act of creation and the feedback you get. Each one is a mini career break in progress. A chance to build, test, and learn something real without the terrifying commitment of most of your work time. Success is data. Failure is also data. You win either way. 2. Transform yourself on the job Waiting for promotions doesnt work. Most people wait years. Even decades. And sometimes they quit. You dont want to put your future on hold for that long. Learn to create mini-breakthroughs. Redefine your own milestones or targets. Launch an internal project. Build a personal brand outside company walls. The key is to make your own career headlines. Dont wait for your boss to tell HR about how far youve come. Transform yourself on the job. Start learning in directions your boss didnt sign off on. Teach yourself design if youre in finance. Take marketing classes if youre in HR. You could curate your own brain trust of experts from inside and outside your company to help out. They can provide the perspective and inspiration for your milestones. That is how you combat intellectual stagnation. You are manually injecting diversity of thought into your life, creating a personal learning engine for your career transformation. 3. Practice intentional incompetence I dont mean do a bad job at work. Its the opposite. I mean strategically identify tasks that drain your energy and provide minimal value to your work. And then slowly offload or eliminate them. You are incompetent at them on purpose. For example, you can automate that weekly report nobody reads. Or stop spending so much time on it, just enough that someone questions its necessity. All work tasks are not created equal. Some are urgent but not necessary. Others are urgent but not important. Separate the essential from the unimportant. The goal is to create a vacuum where your time used to be. And use the new reclaimed time for other necessary tasks. Intentional incompetence is a ruthless audit of your effort. Youre not paid for your hustle; youre paid for your impact. Freeing up quality time from trivial pursuits allows you to focus on the high-value work that actually matters. Its how you make time to do more of what contributes to the bigger goal. More valuable work. The most radical career break is the one you create by redesigning your relationship with your work. Its reinventing yourself right in the middle of your current career. Monotony breaks careers. Were all creatures of habit until the habit unmakes us. Thats why you need to reinvent yourself on the job to stay relevant. Think of it as a controlled career transformation. Its one of the best ways to get ahead in your career before the inevitable you fear happens. Your mission isnt just to do the work. Its to let the work, on your own terms, remake you.
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E-Commerce
Five years ago, I sat under a tree and cried. It was Cinco de Mayo 2020, and I woke up to an email: I was being laid off from my dream job as a global creative lead at Airbnb, one of 25% of the company being let go that morning as the pandemic hit the travel industry hard. I walked to the park in a daze, fully masked (remember those days?), found a tree, and broke down. Around me, life went on. Kids laughed. Dogs barked. Sun filtered through branches like nothing had changed. But for me, everything had. Layoffs surged to their highest levels since COVID-19 as of July 2025, so if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you or someone you love has felt this sting recently, too. First, I’m sorry that happened to you. I know how disorienting and painful job loss can be. The grief is real. The uncertainty can feel overwhelming. And the identity shake-up? That hits different. Here’s what I also want you to know: This may be the end of one story, but it’s also the start of a new, more incredible story that you can write entirely on your own terms. Whether you’re navigating a career transition or just hearing that quiet voice whispering “Maybe there’s something more,” I want to share two storytelling practices that helped me find my way post-layoff. They’ve since guided hundreds of my Story Coaching clients through their own turning points, too. Choose what kind of story you want this to be In the weeks after my layoff, I ping-ponged between anxiety (“Apply to jobs NOW!”) and grief over my lost identity and work community. But then I realized I was in a “turn-the-page” moment. I would tell this story again and again. What kind of story did I want it to be? Psychologist Dan McAdams calls this a “narrative choice.” How we frame our experiences to build personal meaning. And these choices have real consequences. People who carry contamination narratives (stories that start good and end bad) experience higher rates of anxiety and depression. But people who frame their experiences as redemption narratives (stories that start bad but end good) report more confidence, connection to purpose, and better mental health. In other words, his research shows that shifting our narrative predicts and precedes psychological well-being. Consciously choosing a redemption narrative will set you on the path to feeling better. After my layoff, I told myself: “This is a story of the time I lost my job. But it’s going to be a story of the time I find myself.” Your reflection prompt: After you’ve had your moment crying under the proverbial tree (we all need it), you have a choice. You can frame this transition as something that happened to youthat youre a victim of circumstances who has to take whatever comes next. Or you can see this as an unexpected plot twist that becomes the catalyst for your most intentional and aligned chapter yet. The narrative you choose will determine every action you take next. Name your past career chapters to shape your future Once I stopped panic-applying to jobs, I took time to ask: What do I really want to do? I’d spent 15 years telling other people’s storiesfrom the Obama campaign and Airbnb to a wild summer working on a Bravo dating showbut had never explored my own. So I cataloged my career chapters with names like “My Year of Hope and Change” and “Post-Airbnb Identity Crisis & Reset.” Patterns emerged immediately. I loved creating spaces for people to use their stories to create impact, but I seriously dreaded office politics. I thrived most when I created and shaped a role myself, but I struggled in positions with narrow job descriptions or restricted responsibilities. This clarity gave me the confidence to start my Story Coaching business instead of returning to a more traditional role. Now I spend my days doing exactly what lights me up, which is helping individuals and teams navigate crossroads using their personal stories as a guide, all without the corporate bureaucracy that always drained me. When we take a pause to map our experiences, we discover themes and threads we can’t see when we’re moving too fast. Your career chapters hold clues about what energizes you, what drains you, and what you’re uniquely built to do next. I call this practice Narrative Navigation: Using your past, present, and possible stories to create a compass that transforms “what now?” into “this way forward.” Your reflection prompt: Take some time to outline your career chapters. Give them creative names, and reflect on what you liked (or didn’t) about the work, people, and compensation. What patterns emerge about what you love, what you’ve outgrown, and where you want to go next? If you want to dive deeper into this exercise, I’ve created a worksheet that walks you through mapping your career chapters to uncover your unique wisdom and direction. Your story is still being written Five years later, that moment sobbing under the tree launched my journey as an entrepreneur. The ending I feared became the best beginning. The layoff forced me to figure out who I was beyond my job title. Reflecting on my own stories helped me get clear on what I actually wanted to work toward. Now I get to witness my Story Coaching clients having similar breakthroughs every day, work that feels infinitely more meaningful than anything I did in corporate life. Now it’s your turn. Pause. Reflect. Choose the narrative that serves you. Trust that everything you’ve lived has prepared you for what’s coming. When you’re ready, don’t forget to share your story. You never know who needs to hear it or what doors it might open. Your next chapter is waiting around the corner . . .
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E-Commerce
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