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For centuries, work has been more than a paycheckit’s been a space where people collaborate, forge meaningful bonds, and find belonging. Yet, in recent years, a major shift has left many feeling isolated despite being surrounded by colleagues, as the deep camaraderie once common in workplaces is fading. Gallups research underscores this concerning trend: today, only 20% of U.S. employees report having a best friend at work. More troubling, just one in five actively nurtures these relationships, despite clear evidence that workplace friendships elevate commitment, performance, and personal well-being. This erosion of connection is not merely a social lossits a business challenge. Employees without strong friendships often feel less fulfilled, collaborate less effectively, and are far more likely to leave. The impact of lost workplace friendships is often underestimatedespecially in discussions about employee turnover. While its commonly believed that people mostly quit jobs in response to poor managers, Oxford professor Jan-Emmanuel De Neve has found that workers quit not because of leadership alone, but because they lack a sense of belonging with their teams. This reframes the issue: workplace friendships arent just about socializingtheyre critical for retention and sustainable business success. The Great Resignation, where millions quit their jobs, directly highlights the impact of weakened workplace ties. Physical separation during the COVID-19 pandemic left employees feeling detached from their teammates, eroding the sense of community that once grounded them. While not the sole driver, the decline in deep workplace friendships significantly contributed to employees’ decisions to leave, underscoring friendship’s role in fostering loyalty, job satisfaction, and team stability. Why Workplace Friendships Are Waning Friendships dont just happenthey develop through shared experiences, casual conversations, and repeated interactions over time. But todays workplace dynamics make forming these bonds increasingly difficult. The technology we rely upon to make communication speedier and efficient carries the downside of making interactions more transactional. Instead of stopping by a coworkers desk for a meaningful chat, we send impersonal texts, emails and Slack messages. Remote and hybrid work schedules compound the problem by removing everyday experiences that once sparked relationships: coffee breaks, lunches, and catching up with people before and after important meetings. We’re so accustomed to working independently, we even take Zoom meetings alone in our officesfully aware the people were meeting with sit right outside our door. Beyond technology, workplaces increasingly emphasize individual performance over team achievementanother disincentive for employees to cultivate meaningful relationships. Its no wonder many of us feel less concerned about having superficial connection with the people we work with. Profound Consequences Gallups research consistently highlights the importance of friendship in the workplace, showing that employees with close bonds are 43% more committed and 27% more satisfied with their jobs. Work friendships also provide an essential support systemsomeone to celebrate wins with, joke with, vent to after tough experiences, and collaborate with in a way that makes work more enjoyable. Without these relationships, workplaces risk becoming isolating, uninspiring, and even less innovative. Having true friendships at work not only improves mental health, it also enhances well-beinga critical driver of employee performance. Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who oversees the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running well-being study in American history, states, The clearest message we get from this 75-year study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Additionally, University of California, Riverside positive psychology researcher, Sonja Lyubomirsky, has found that even small points of connection throughout the day can increase happiness more than people realize. Having conversations with people makes us happy, Lyubomirsky says, reinforcing how simple social interactions with colleagues can improve mood, commitment, and overall workplace satisfaction. Further backing this idea, renowned psychologist, Ed Dieners research on happiness discovered that the most fulfilled individuals arent just successful in their careersthey are deeply social. One more critical piece of confirmation, Deloittes 2020 research, shows a sense of belongingfeeling valued and included by ones boss and colleaguesis the top driver of employee well-being. Its because belonging fosters psychological safety, resilience and self-esteem, each of which are anchors to human flourishing. How Leaders Can Rebuild Workplace Connection To reverse this decline, leaders must recognize that workplace friendships are not inevitablethey require active nurturing. Creating a more connected workplace surely demands intentional efforts, but the benefits of building a truly cohesive team far outweigh the time and energy investment. Leaders should prioritize building social spaces within work environments, whether thats through dedicated team-building activities or informal check-ins that encourage employees to engage with each other beyond their day-to-day tasks. For remote and hybrid teams, fostering connection means going beyond creating opportunities for virtual coffee chats, and adding team Slack channels centered around interests. Bringing people together for regularly scheduled in-person connection days remains essential. Encouraging collaborative projects can also unite employees in a way that feels natural rather than forced. When colleagues work toward a shared goal, friendships develop organically. Rotating people into different collaborative teams will also ensure closer relationships are built more widely. Finally, leaders must acknowledge that workplace friendships arent distractions or nice-to-havestheyre assets. Creating a culture where connection is valued doesnt just improve employee moraleit strengthens retention, creativity, and performance. By fostering friendships, leaders dont just build better teams; they create desirable workplaces. The lifeblood of thriving teams Workplace friendships that weave resilience and joy into the fabric of our daily work are the lifeblood of thriving teams and organizations. Leaders who champion these bonds will naturally create environments where well-being flourishes, and their teams full potential can be unlocked. Perhaps, fostering stronger relationships at work might also produce a ripple effect that extends empathy and unity ino society overall. As Nelson Mandela envisioned, A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.
Category:
E-Commerce
Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issueseverything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor. A reader asks: I recently hired a new administrative employee. His job is to answer phones, greet guests, and complete various tasks I assign to him. His customer service skills are strong, but his attention to detail is very weak. I have given him a lot of feedback and training, but he continues to make basic mistakes and misses almost every deadline I give him. But he is constantly telling me how great a job he’s doing. He routinely tells me things like, “You are going to be so happy when I show you what I’ve done for you!” or “You are going to love meI am making your life so much easier!” and then hands me a report that I have to spend a half-hour correcting. Yesterday, I told him to follow up with me when he completes tasks because I would rather he proactively inform me than wait for me to ask. His response: “As you know, I always complete tasks immediately [this is untrue] but I didn’t know you needed me to remind you of that. No problem at all!” This behavior is really grating on me. His work product hasn’t improved and I’m starting to feel like he’s trying to manipulate me into not giving him corrections. I’m starting to struggle giving him feedback because I feel like he ignores me and I’m letting that affect my interactions with him. Have I already arrived at the “this needs to improve or else” conversation? He started just two months ago. I want to give him time to learn and grow, but my patience is zapped. Green responds: Im sorry, I laughed out loud at “As you know, I always complete tasks immediately [this is untrue]. You do need to have the “this needs to improve or else conversation. Youve given him very basic feedback over and over, hes not improving, and he misses almost every deadline you give him. His overhyping of his own work makes this more concerning. If you could see that he was taking your feedback seriously, he understood that his work isn’t where it needs to be, and he was working hard to incorporate your feedback, Id say sure, give him some time to work on mastering the job. But when hes ignoring your feedback and telling you his work is superb when youve clearly told him its not, thats a serious problem, and not the sort that time usually helps with. However! Theres potentially some room for hope if you havent been completely clear with him. When youve given him feedback and talked about mistakes, have you been clear that the work isnt at the level you need and that the pattern of mistakes is serious? And when he misses deadlines, have you told him clearly that it cant keep happening? (For example: This was due yesterdaywhat happened? Followed by, Its really important that you turn in work by the agreed-upon deadline or tell me ahead of time if youre worried about your ability to do that.) If you havent done those things, its possible that this could turn this around. A lot of managers in your situation think, But I shouldnt need to do that! He should know that missing a deadline is a big deal, and that he needs to take feedback seriously. And indeed, he should. But many employees miss the cues that managers think are obviousand when youre frustrated with someone, the first step is to make sure that youve been really clear about the expectations you need them to meet. (In fact, whenever you’re feeling frustrated with an employee, that’s a flag to check how clear you’ve been.) If youve done those things and this is still happening, then yes, its time for a serious conversation where you explain you cant keep him in the job if you dont see significant improvement on these fronts quickly. Interestingly, I think you can do all of this without directly addressing the Im amazing comments. By addressing the crux of the problemhis work is not what you need it to behell probably get the message that his self-hype isnt in line with the reality. If he doesnt, that’s not a great sign about how well he’s processing your message. That said, if you want to address it, you can! You could say, I was surprised to hear you say you always complete tasks immediately when Ive shared my concern about a number of missed deadlines recently. Or you can take the hype as statements of his intentions rather than what hes actually done. For example, with his “I am making your life so much easier! comment, you could refer back to that later with something like, I know you want to make my life easier and I appreciate thatthats what I want from your role as well. When you give me a report with errors that I have to spend half an hour correcting, thats not happening. I need you to double-check your work before it comes to me so that youre spotting and correcting your own errors and I dont need to fix anything when it comes my way. But I think if you keep the focus on the gap between the work hes producing and the work you needand just consider the self-hype a strange and even amusing eccentricityyoull figure out pretty quickly if he can succeed in the job or not, and thats what really matters. Want to submit a question of your own? Send it to alison@askamanager.org. By Alison Green This article originally appeared on Fast Companys sister site, Inc. Inc. is the voice of the American entrepreneur. We inspire, inform, and document the most fascinating people in business: the risk-takers, the innovators, and the ultra-driven go-getters that represent the most dynamic force in the American economy.
Category:
E-Commerce
Most people have goals to get ahead and even know, in principle, what steps to take to achieve them, but just keep not taking those steps. For instance, a successful designer does beautiful art on the side and wants to put it out there to see if he has something people will buy. Or a corporate leader has left her role to be an independent consultant and needs to communicate with more people about the value she brings. Both the artist-entrepreneur and the budding consultant know about the steps involved in marketing and sales, but they just keep not taking those steps, at least not enough of them. Something is holding them back. In my experience coaching entrepreneurs and training leaders I find that very often they know what steps they should be taking. One more hack or pep talk isnt going to do much for them. There is, however, a counterintuitive processteach me how to failthat can make a huge difference regardless of their specific skill set, goal, or context. Failure is an option Typically, people tend to avoid thinking about failure. Failure is something many people fear. And research does support what most people would probably suspectthat fear of failure really can hold us back, even the entrepreneurial-minded. To avoid thinking about failure can be a way to try to avoid fear of failure. You knowStay positive. However, research has long shown that it’s exposure to our fears, rather than avoiding them, that can help us move past them. And the more fully we can manage to safely revisit the contexts and emotions involved, the better. Findings reveal that when people expose themselves to the fear of failure, and let themselves explore that fear of failure mindfully, it can lead to breakthroughs in how they approach their task. Failure as a strategy Teach me how to fail is a powerful way to flip the script on failure and expose yourself in a safe and thoughtful way to the context and emotions connected with that failure. The process also reveals a wealth of actionable information quickly, that can precisely address what holds someone back. It points them toward what to do differently in their unique context. With this process we view failure as a strategy, and moreover as a successful one. It is not successful at getting to the goal, but successful at meeting some other important need. That shift alone is often an eye-opener for people. Consider a situation of your own where you are not taking action that you think you should. Now reflect on this question: How is it serving you to not act? This is a way of reframing the meaning of failing-to-act in a more positive, often accurate, and adaptive light. Neuroscience shows that reframing the meaning of something in this way can change your emotional state and how strongly the brain may be triggering fight-or-flight mode. In this process, moreover, we try to learn how to fail in the specific ways a person fails to act. Case study Lets consider Tim, the successful designer now looking to expand as an artist-entrepreneur, who took part in a group coaching series I co-facilitate. Trying to move himself to act, Tim said I just need to put my art out there and see what happens. When asked, how is it serving you to not put your art out there? Tim owned up to the fact that it allowed him to avoid finding out whether people would say no. That helped him keep hope alive that his art could find customers. With this we learned what his strategy was helping him succeed withto keep hope alive. Then we explored further what someone would need to do if they wanted to fail to put their art out there exactly as Tim does. We knew one piece already, which was to value keeping hope alive. His strategy included certain behaviors, beliefs, emotional states, imagining particular reactions from other people, focusing attention on the wrong things, and so on. For instance: 1) we should justify waiting by telling ourselves the product was not ready. 2) We should imagine the letdown we would feel if there was no interest. 3) We should believe it would be bad to learn the answer was No, and that if no one purchased any pieces that means the art is not good enough to be commercial. Difference makers After we had learned how to fail-to-act in precisely the way Tim did, it was much easier to see what might make the difference for him. Here were some of the shifts he made: His focus: Instead of putting energy into justifying waiting, he would put it into justifying not waiting His feelings: Instead of imagining the letdown feeling, he would imagine the exhilaration of the process His beliefs: Instead of worrying about hearing no, he would try to hear no. He would design every outreach so that people have to say yes or no to some step in his sales funnel. Then he would aim to find out why so he could make adjustments. His good intentions: He then reflected on the question: How can I keep hope alive better by putting my art out there? Psychology and neuroscience research highlights how each of these kinds of shiftsfocus, feelings, beliefs, serving your good intentionscan make a big difference in whether and how you act. In short, what is happening is that this paradoxical focus on failure as an adaptive strategy interrupts the pattern. It snaps you out of your stuck state of mind and puts you in a more resourceful state of mind. It also shines a light on the hidden assumptions, needs, and habits that have been getting in the way. For Tim, these shifts did make the difference. He put his art out there and is excited about the response. Teach me how to fail is a process I learned from NLP (neurolinguistic programming). It is one of many tools from NLP for quickly identifying the difference that will make the difference for someone to be able to make a desired change in a lasting way.
Category:
E-Commerce
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