President Trumps address to a joint session of Congress last week is still making headlines, including celebrating cracking down on immigration; declaring male and female are the only two genders recognized by the U.S. government; loudly ending diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts; implementing aggressive tariffs; and more. And one of the most shocking things to witness again in his address was a public display of bullying: President Trump calling Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass, “Pocahontas. Its a nickname he has used to repeatedly mock her, once Warren shared publicly that she has Native American heritage.
“Do you want to keep it going for another five years? Yeah, yeah, you would say. Pocahontas says yes,” Trump said, in response to the Ukraine war.
When asked by the media how she felt about being called Pocahontas by President Trump, Warren said: “I actually hit a nerve when I applauded the United States’s support of Ukrainian patriots. If that hits a nerve for Trump, then it’s worth sitting through the rest of that speech.”
What happened to Warren is a reminder that bullying doesnt just happen behind closed doors. Bullying can happen on a public stage. It can also happen in our workplaces, in the hallway, in meetings, and at events for all to witness and see. If you are the target of public bullying in your workplace, here are some ways to consider responding.
Respond with humor
In some cases, when being bullied in public, you may choose to respond with humor. This can sometimes deflect the situation, disarm and catch the bully off guard. Using humor can shift focus away from the hurtful comment that was made in the moment.
Everyone but Mita can reach those mugs, a former colleague would tease me about my height at work, and how I couldnt reach the mugs on the top shelf of the kitchen. They would make jabs about my height, why my lunch smelled so funny, how I spoke English so well, and a host of other bullying comments. On days that I would have the energy, I would respond with humor:
My playful, fun response: I may be short, but I am packed full of fun!
My embracing the bullying as a compliment response: I love being short. They usually dont see me coming.
My sarcastic response: Yes, being short is a real struggle. Somedays, I dont know how I manage to get through the day.
You can respond with humor to take control back from the situation. You can try to be playful, turn the bullying comment into a compliment, or just give a sarcastic response. And sometimes, when we dont have the energy to respond or cant think of the right response, this tactic might not be the right one at the moment. And if this colleague has a track record of bullying publicly, you can be prepared in the future for what you think they might say and use humor to diffuse and deflect.
Let them know its not acceptable
You can also let them know calmly and firmly that this bullying comment is not okay. By speaking up, you can be clear on your boundaries without escalating things further in the moment.
You can say the following:
I dont appreciate that comment.
I dont find that funny.
Thats not cool/ Thats not okay.
They might come back and say, Oh its just a joke, or, Stop being so sensitive, or, Wow, dont take things so seriously to try and shut you down again. Dont get baited into raising your voice or getting distracted by saying something you might regret. You dont want to respond with an unkind comment in the heat of the moment.
More than likely, they may respond to make you seem like you are in the wrong for setting boundaries. They dont want to take accountability for their actions or apologize. They want to discredit and dismiss your feelings.
In return, you can say again firmly, I dont appreciate that comment. Its not okay, and remove yourself from the situation if possible, or move on to speak to another colleague.
Say nothing in the moment
There have been times when I was bullied in public at work where using humor or letting the individual know their behavior wasnt acceptable wouldnt have worked. Sometimes the individual bullying us in public can be junior or can be a peer. Other times, the individual bullying us can be more senior. Power dynamics in our workplaces can impact our ability to speak up in the moment. We can be afraid of retaliation during or after the incident and how it might impact our careers.
If it feels unsafe or not productive for you to speak up in the moment, it may be best to say nothing. Staying quiet, walking away, or doing your best to remove yourself from the bully may be the best option. In my experience, bullies can thrive on attention and engagement. By not reacting, you may be indicating that you arent bothered by what happened. They may get bored of targeting you if they dont see any type of response, and unfortunately move onto another target in the workplace.
Ask a colleague to intervene
If the bullying in public has happened before, share with a colleague you trust. Explain to them as many of the facts as you can of things that have happened before. They can be on the alert to help intervene in the future. They can be the one to say:
Hey, thats not funny. Got any better jokes?
I dont see anyone else laughing.
Thats not cool, you need to stop.
A colleague can also help redirect the conversation by offering lets talk about something else or lets focus on something thats more positive. A colleague can also help remove you from the situation; you can walk away together or distance yourself from the bully.
Finally, a colleague can go with you to HR to report and document what has been happening, especially if this behavior is persistent and harmful. It may be necessary to do this to protect yourself and others from this behavior. And having a colleague as a witness and someone to support you can make all the difference.
Bullying can slowly chip away at your confidence. And when its public, you may feel a swirl of emotions: embarrassment, shame, anger and more. Remember that you can try to intervene on your own, and that can be a heavy burden. Ask for help and let others know whats happening. Put a stop to public bullying not just for yourself, but for others who may be experiencing this harmful and hurtful behavior as well in our workplaces.
