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Perhaps youre coming out of a wave of layoffs or a down year. Maybe youre preparing for a run of performance reviews where you have to deliver tough feedback. If you have tense conversations on the horizon, there are ways to prepare for it. In many cases, the anticipation of a high-conflict conversation creates more stress than the actual experience. Its normal to feel out of control in moments like thisto feel like your internal world is compromised and you must attempt to control your external world. Neural circuits responsible for conscious self-control are highly vulnerable to even the mildest of stressors. When those neural systems shut down, primal impulses go unchecked, and mental paralysis sets in. But as a leader, it is critical to learn how to de escalate tension in the moment. How to prepare for conflict Putting feelings and emotions into words can help calm your nervous system. Practicing resonant self-talk and understanding your Default Mode Network (DMN) can help you connect with yourself, bringing you back into your body and helping you remain present in the moment with your employees or peers. Investing time to prepare for conflict scenarios reinforces your ability to regulate and positions any potential conflict as an opportunity for connection. Consider these four steps as you prepare for possible conflict situations:Step 1: Seek to fully understand the situation: Enter the conversation with an open mind and commit to leaving with a greater understanding of your employees experience.Step 2: Set an outcome for yourself: What is the desired objective of the conversation? Are you seeking collaboration, clarity, or agreement on a go-forward strategy?Step 3: Identify how to support yourself if tensions rise: What do you need to stay present and focused during the conversation? Leave yourself reminders to breathe, have a fidget toy handy, or repeat a grounding statement such as, Everyone is struggling with something. Step 4: Set boundaries for yourself: Beware of your internal limits. Know that naming discomfort when it arises can help to slow the conversation down. How to structure the conversation Now that youve established your desired outcomes, solidified your self-regulation methods, and confirmed your boundaries, its time to hold the meeting. Visualize your next difficult conversation and implement this conversational structure: Notice body language or conversation cues Name what you are observing Offer validation to your counterpart in the conversation Invite them to share more Identify a collaborative path forward In this flow, it is important to equip yourself with questions that nudge the conversation toward understanding, collaboration and, ultimately, psychological safety. Thoughtful questions that resonate with your employees physiological response state (e.g. fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) offer connection as a form of relief rather than control. You might also find that you need to repeat the second, third and fourth steps a few times before youre both ready to identify a path forward. By asking questions and investing in the process, you can help your team move into a foster state of safety and clarity. As you prepare for conflict, consider what state your direct report might be in. Are you coming off of a high-stress project where leadership gave a lot of critical feedback? Your team might be in fight or flight. If performance reviews are on the horizon and youve noticed your team is disengaged or over-accommodating, they might be in a freeze or fawn state. How to respond to fight, flight, freeze or fawn reactionsLets examine how to deploy the aforementioned conversation flow in response to team members experiencing fight, flight, freeze or fawn states. Response to the fight reaction stage If your employee is in fight mode, they could be experiencing rage or anger. They might be exhibiting signs of intimidation or even bullying and could come across as demanding to you or their peers. During your meeting, you might notice they are speaking faster or louder (conversation cues), leaning in toward you, or crossing their arms (body language). At this point, name what you see (I can see that you are frustrated) then offer validation: I can understand why you are frustrated, especially given the feedback you received from leadership last week. I know how hard you worked on this project. Then, invite them to offer more in the conversation. Ask: Is there anything else you want me to know? Finally, ask them how they envision moving forward. Again, questions can lead to clarity. Response to the flight reaction stage An individual in flight mode might be experiencing feelings of panic or anxiety. You might notice they are ruminating on certain topics or situations, or could even be overworking on a deliverable. In your conversation, they might seem restless or in a hurry to end the meeting. You might also notice they are avoiding talking about anything of substance as it relates to the project at hand. Offer your observation: You seem a little distracted and Im noticing were talking around the issue here. Then validate: Are you concerned about discussing this project? I can understand if youre feeling worried. Consider asking, What didnt work well for you on this project? before inquiring how they envision moving forward. Response to the freeze reaction stage Employees in a freeze state might be experiencing brain fog or a feeling of numbness. They could be stonewalling or hiding. In your meeting, you might notice they are less responsive or are having difficulty articulating their thoughts. Share what youre noticing: You seem less present or, You dont seem like your usual self. Offer validation: It makes sense given the pressure youre under. I know how much you are invested in the outcome of this project. Let them know that you want to understand their deeper concerns and leave space for them to explore before you identify next steps for a solution. Response to the fawn reaction stage You might notice someone in a fawn state is over-apologizing or overly accommodating. Theyre not exhibiting strong boundaries and are avoiding addressing the conflict directly. At this stage, it is crucial as a leader to show that you want to hear whats not working. The conversational cues from this individual might be less obviousperhaps youve heard elsewhere that the person has a concern but theyre not bringing it up with you directly. In your meeting, let them know you want to make room for any concerns they might have (I am aware that youre having challenges around this project, can we address that?). Validate their experience by saying, I really appreciate you taking the risk to be honest with me. I take your feedback very seriously. As you move forward, express your commitment to solving the problem with them and ask: What are we missing? You might have noticed this conversation flow closely resembles the tactical empathy model (notice, name, manage) and deploys resonant language throughout. In a world here 87% of employees say empathy is essential to fostering an inclusive environment, the onus is on our leaders to embrace these tactics, fortify their own self-regulation practices and create an environment where conflict is not fearedit is understood, accepted and leveraged to facilitate a better path forward toward a solution.
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Despite growing up with a financial planner for a father, the idea of investing intimidated me well into my adulthood. From my point of view, investing seemed like a mysterious process. Not only was this magical money-making exercise conducted in an arcane language (what exactly is a NASDAQ, and why does it sound like something you treat with a special cream?), but it also required my dad to keep the TV in his office tuned to the worlds most mind-numbing broadcast, even though cartoons were just a channel away. Its no wonder I grew up thinking that investing was boring and impossible to understand. And investment ambivalence is pretty common. A recent NerdWallet financial angst report found that 79% of Americans feel intimidated by at least one financial topic, and 30% of those surveyed named investing as the most daunting one of all. But investing is a crucial part of money management. If you dont invest your money, youre committing yourself to working for every dollar, rather than letting your money do the heavy lifting. The good news is that investing isnt as incomprehensible or boring as you might believe. Heres what you need to know to make investing part of your financial life. Why investing is important If you type the words compound interest into Google, youre likely to come across the following quote, falsely attributed to Albert Einstein: Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it . . . he who doesnt, pays it. Incorrect attribution aside, whoever put these words in Einsteins mouth was onto something. Compound interest is an incredible economic force that you can use to build wealth. Heres how it works: When you invest, the money you have invested earns interest. But that interest compounds periodically, meaning that the interest you have earned is added to your principal, and you then start to earn interest on both your original investment and on the interest youve earned, until it compounds again. This process is the reason why youll see those calculations that say $10,000 invested today in a mutual fund earning an average of 8% per year could be worth more than $100,000 in 30 years, even if you dont add another penny to it. The process of compounding interest can create exponential growth. The power of compound interest is why we all should be investing. Investing your money lets the money grow without you having to work for it. (The flip side of compound interest is what happens when borrowers dont pay enough each month to cover accrued interest on high interest loans and credit cards. You do not want to be on that side of the compounding equation.) Getting started with investing Back when I was still a cartoon-loving kid whose eyes glazed over upon hearing the words Dow Jones, I learned about the potential growth available to anyone who got themselves some compound interest. As a budding money nerd, I wanted in on that action. As someone who did not think of mutual fund prospectuses as riveting beach reads, I had zero idea how I was supposed to get in on that action. Not only were the sheer number of potential investments dizzying, but I also felt like I had no clue how to evaluate whether an investment was a good idea. The intimidation and dread I felt is why I carried my invest-i-phobia into my 30suntil I learned two valuable investing strategies that everyone should know. Timeline your goals Joe Saul-Sehy, host of The Stacking Benjamins Show podcast (and my coauthor), taught me how timing can help you narrow down your investing options. Specifically, Saul-Sehy suggests that every investor should place financial goals on a timeline, including the age at which youd like to meet those goals. For instance, lets say a 25-year-old wants to buy a house by age 35. They have been putting $150 per month into a savings account and already have $3,000 saved. Theyd like to have at least $40,000 for a down payment. If they keep setting aside $150 per month, it would take nearly 20 years to reach their goal. But investing that money would allow the money to earn compounding interest, making the 10-year time frame more possible. To figure out the interest rate needed to reach $40,000 in 10 years, use this compound interest calculator from Investor.gov. You already have the initial investment ($3,000), the monthly contribution ($150), and the length of time in years (10 years). With those numbers plugged in, you can play around with potential interest rates (also known as rates of return) to find the rate you need to reach your goal. In this case, the 25-year-old would need an investment with at least a 10.5% rate of return to make their $40,000 goal within ten years. Unfortunately, that is not a realistic rate of return. The stock market as a whole has historically seen an 8.5% annual return over time (adjusted for inflation). A stable investmentmeaning one that wont suddenly lose value overnightshouldnt expect a higher return than 8%. The future homeowner can either extend their timeline, increase their monthly contribution, or reduce their goal number. Shifting the goal back to 12 years instead of 10, increasing the monthly contribution to $200 instead of $150, or aiming for a $32,000 down payment instead of $40,000 would all allow this investor to reach their goal with a rate of return of 8% or lower. Choose the investment to fit your timelined goal Having a reasonable rate of return in mind for your investment makes it much easier to choose where to put your money. Instead of trying to find The Best Investment, you only need to find an investment that will meet your specific goals and needs. Typically, a newbie investor may want to check out mutual funds, exchange traded funds (ETFs), index funds, or target date funds. These funds invest roadly, spreading out your risk. There are a number of sites that aggregate best of investment lists and allow you to look up information about various investment options, including important information about fees (described as a percentage called expense ratio), minimum investment requirements, and historical performance. (Just remember that theres a reason why all financial professionals have historical performance is no guarantee of future returns tattooed on their foreheads. Looking at how an investment has done in the past doesnt give anyone a crystal ball about its future performance.) One other important criteria to consider is the investments potential volatility. Yahoo! Finance allows investors to look at a Mountain Chart that shows the historical movement of the investment over time. A more volatile investment may look like your money is riding Space Mountain, while a more stable investment may look more like its chilling through the alpine section of Its a Small World. Typically, higher levels of volatility correlate with higher potential for growth, but investors need to have the stomach for it. If just the idea of a major investment drop has you reaching for the Mylanta, you might want to stick to the tamer rideseven though it may mean smaller returns. Once youve chosen your investment, you can open a brokerage account and start letting your money do some of the work. Jump in! The investment waters fine Ambivalence over investing keeps many of us from putting our money to work. But leveraging the power of compound interest is much easier than having to work for every single dollar you earn. To get started with investing, figure out what financial goals you have and give yourself a timeline for achieving them, as well as a monthly contribution you can afford to put toward it. With those numbers in mind, you can use Investor.govs compound interest calculator to figure out what rate of return you will need to reach your goal. From there, you can find an investment that fits your goal, looking at the historical rate of return (which is no guarantee of future performance), the fees, minimum contribution, and volatility, to narrow down your options. Doing this kind of investment planning will only take a couple of hours of your time and it isnt nearly as scary or difficult as you might believe. Best of all, you can even watch cartoons while youre doing it.
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Want more housing market stories from Lance Lamberts ResiClub in your inbox? Subscribe to the ResiClub newsletter. National home prices are rising 2.6% on a year-over-year basis. While some markets in the Gulf and Mountain West regions are seeing mild home price declines, theres another cohort concentrated in the Northeast, Midwest, and West Coast that are seeing gains well above the national aggregate. Among the 200 largest metro area housing markets, the chart below highlights the 30 markets with the largest home price increases between December 2023 and December 2024, according to ResiClubs analysis of the latest Zillow Home Value Index data published in January. While home prices have softened in Gulf markets like Texas, Florida, and Louisiana (where inventory has spiked back above pre-pandemic levels) most of the housing markets in the Northeast and Midwest still have inventory far below pre-pandemic levels, and still have elevated home price growth. Many pandemic boomtowns in the Sunbelt are experiencing greater affordability strain as well as facing significant home insurance shocks and higher levels of new-home inventory. In some Sunbelt areas, this inventory requires discounts to sell in the current environment of reduced pandemic-era migration and strained affordability. In contrast, many Northeast and Midwest markets were less reliant on pandemic migration and have less new-home construction in progress. With lower exposure on that demand shock, active inventory in these Midwest and Northeast regions has remained relatively tight, keeping the advantage in the hands of home sellers. !function(){"use strict";window.addEventListener("message",(function(a){if(void 0!==a.data["datawrapper-height"]){var e=document.querySelectorAll("iframe");for(var t in a.data["datawrapper-height"])for(var r=0;r
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