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Alison Fragale is an organizational psychologist and a business school professor at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Financial Times, Boston Globe, and Inc. Whats the big idea? Your status among your peers and in your community may seem like an uncontrollable factor, by nature of it existing in the heads of others. However, there are actually many fun and easy steps you can take to supercharge your status in humble, authentic, generous ways. Below, Alison shares five key insights from her new book, Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve. Listen to the audio versionread by Alison herselfin the Next Big Idea App. 1. Being a likeable badass is your path to status. A likeable badass is someone who shows up as both caring and capable. When people see you as caring and capable, they grant you status. That is, they respect you and hold you in high regard. Status is a fundamental human need. We all seek status, and it is critical to our quality of life. Feeling respected improves physical and mental health. It also makes it easier to gain power, another fundamental need. The more we feel valued by others, the better our lives are. Our status only exists in other peoples minds. We only get as much status as others grant us. Fortunately, we can influence our status by how we show up. Science shows that people respect those who care about others and are good at what they do. Showing up as a likeable badass is the most controllable way we can affect our status. 2. Use your skills to help others. A young woman who was active on Instagram lamented that her older (mostly male) work colleagues saw social media as frivolous kids stuff. She didnt want to abandon something she enjoyed, but she also wanted to build her status at work. I asked her, Have you ever tried to use your social media skills to benefit them? She looked at me, confused. What do you mean? I suggested she could offer to post on the company social media accounts or give suggestions for how colleagues could improve their personal social accounts. I explained that I was active on social media, but not having grown up with it, I know theres a lot I could do better. Id be overjoyed if someone offered to help me edit my profile or give me suggestions for content. By doing what you love in service to others, you will be authentic and strategic. Using your unique skills to help others is the most effective way to gain status. You will appear helpful and knowledgeable. By doing what you love in service to others, you will be authentic and strategic. 3. To build status efficiently, find your small deposits. To build your status with many people, you need to find ways to add value to other lives in ways that dont require much effort. Fortunately, there are many small deposits you can make that take minutes or even seconds. Imagine meeting a new acquaintance for coffee, and you offer to pay. Thats a kind gesture, but it doesnt distinguish you as a capable person. What if instead of (or in addition to) buying the persons coffee, you offered to introduce them to someone in your network? An email introduction is free and takes only minutes to write, but its a great way to show up as capable and caring. You signal that you have something valuable to offeryour networkand youre willing to share this value with others. Beyond the introduction, there are lots of small deposits you can make once you start looking for them. Suggest a resource, like a book or website, or offer advice on a problem theyre facing. Bonus points if you type your advice out so you can share it with anyone at the click of a mouse. For example, Ive written out my process for finding and hiring childcare because many parents value this advice. I can now offer guidance to anyone who asks in less than 30 seconds by sharing the documents Ive already created. Find a small deposit that feels authentic for you and that you can do quickly, so that you can add value to lots of people in little time. 4. Have a good answer to everyday questions. Like it or not, self-promotion is necessary for building status. People are more likely to know about your talents and contributions if you tell them. But talking yourself up doesnt have to be icky or immodest. There are lots of artful ways to tell your story. When people ask you, Whats new? or How are you? thats an opportunity to tell your story. We often waste these opportunities by saying something uninspiring and uninformative, like Im fine or Busy. But with not many more words, you could say something that inspires curiosity in your listener and opens the door to tell your story. This conversation only happened because he answered my throwaway question well. I recently ran into a friend at an event and said, Hows it going? simply out of habit and politeness. He smiled big and said, I. Had. The. Best. Day. Today. That made me curious, so I asked him why, and he shared a short story about how he had just secured a new client and that he and the client were very aligned on their commitment to serving others. It was only two to three minutes, but I learned a lot about my friends success that I otherwise would never have known. This conversation only happened because he answered my throwaway question well. And because he was responding to my direct question, his response came across as polite rather than self-promoting. Look for short, truthful responses to these everyday questions that enable you to tell your story in a natural way. 5. Have other people build your status for you. People dont just learn about you from you. They also learn about you from othersparticularly what others say about you when youre not around. Self-promotion is necessary for managing status, and so is other-promotion: having other people talk about you in ways that convey how capable and caring you are. The more other-promoters you have, the faster you can build status with a broad audience. There are three things you can do to grow your set of other promoters: Meet more people. If a person doesnt know you exist, they cant talk you up. One of my greatest other-promoters is my friend and fellow speaker, Rachel Sheerin. I met Rachel in an airport bar. Your next other-promoter could be anywhere. Be curious about others and ask them questions. They will likely do the same in return. A five to ten minute conversation can teach a lot about each other. Convey that you are capable and caring, both in how you talk about yourself and the small deposits you make. Before someone sings your praises, you first need to establish your status in their eyes. Give the person a reason to pick up the microphone. They cant just think yourea likeable badass; you want them to share this opinion with the world. They are more likely to do that if you talk them up first. Most behaviors in relationships are reciprocated. If you sing someone elses praise, they are more likely to sing yours. Another way is to ask them. This feels a little scarier, but people who respect you want to help and will appreciate the clarity. I will often say something like, I know Bob really respects you, and I want him to respect me, too, but he doesnt get to see all of the great work Im doing, and I dont have a natural way to tell him. The next time you see Bob, will you make a point of artfully telling him about my work? Ive never had a single person say no to this request. If you want to increase your number of other promoters, I recommend my 10-10-10 challenge. This week, meet 10 people, make 10 small deposits, and talk up 10 people or ask 10 people to talk you up. Theres no reason building status cant be easy and fun. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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E-Commerce
Dana Miranda is a financial educator, journalist, and creator of the Healthy Rich newsletter, where she writes about money for misfits. She has contributed to Forbes, Business Insider, The New York Times, CNBC, and The Motley Fool, among many other outlets. Whats the big idea? The personal finance industry has been teaching ineffective wealth habits for decades. The dominant advice is that budgeting is of absolute importance, but emerging research is dismantling this approach to money management. A life of prosperity does not emerge from restrictive rules and a scarcity mindsetit starts with intuition and generosity. Below, Dana shares five key insights from her new book, You Dont Need a Budget: Stop Worrying about Debt, Spend without Shame, and Manage Money with Ease. Listen to the audio versionread by Dana herselfin the Next Big Idea App. 1. Budgeting doesnt work Basically, every piece of financial advicewhether youre trying to pay off debt, save for a big purchase, or start investingstarts with make a budget. This sounds a lot like what we see in healthcare, where every piece of health and wellness advice goes back to losing weight. In both cases, were defaulting to restriction. Decades of research in the medical field shows that weight loss doesnt always yield the health outcomes people want. Dieting doesnt work well for weight loss or health improvement. So, I wondered what the research would say about budgeting. The most surprising thing I found was how little research exists about the effectiveness of budgeting. Almost no one is asking whether the practice effectively improves a financial situation. However, I did find a few researchers trying to determine the effectiveness of budgeting. The truth about budgeting contradicts everything the personal finance industry has been teaching. A 2018 study at the University of Minnesota found that budgets are unsustainable and dont reduce spending. Through one experiment, they found participants got less enjoyment out of spending when they tracked their budgets closely, and this effect was stronger for people with less money. That lower enjoyment meant people were less likely to continue budgeting in the future. Researchers wrote, Tracking a budget may reduce the enjoyment associated with spending by increasing pain of paying through a tightened link between costs and benefits. In another experiment, the same researchers found budgeting encourages a splurge-and-restrict cycle exactly like the binge-and-restrict cycles we see with diets. People may use perceived progress as an excuse to take a break and may splurge a little, the authors wrote, giving budgeters little net benefit. Another report from the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada in 2019 shows how ineffective admonitions to make a budget can be, and that budgeting doesnt improve well-being. The agency led a pilot to encourage people to make a budget, and they followed up 18 months later. Despite the programs sole purpose being to get people to start budgeting, only about one-third of participants who left with the program with the intention of making a budget followed through and developed a budgeting habit. Then, the study asked budgeters whether the habit helped reduce their financial stress. Just 8% of budgeters said budgeting reduced financial stress. 2. Budget culture is like diet culture for your money Our cultural relationship with money is based on a set of rules meant to help us get rich, like paying off debt, investing, starting a side hustle, and making a budget. Financial advice and education tend to boil down to three tactics: Restrict how you use money, whether by spending less, saving more, or buying different things. Shame yourself for financial moves, including spending, accumulating debt, and lack of investment or savings. Greedily hoard wealth by avoiding taxes, accumulating property, and opposing social safety nets. I call this approach budget culture: a set of values that, like diet culture, is based on restriction, shame, and greed. The practice of budgeting is the centerpiece of budget culture. But budget culture is much more than making a budget. You dont have to engage in budgeting to be engulfed in the beliefs around it. These beliefs pervade most conversations about money. In the same way diet culture has us constantly critiquing our bodies and seeking the perfect regimen, our culture of money has us convinced we can find the perfect way to manage money if we work hard enough. Despite several systemic barriers, if your finances dont look like you want them to, budget culture convinces you its because youre not doing something right. The personal finance industry has contrived a fantasy world where its possible for regular people to overcome tremendous financial obstacles with just a few simple steps and make real progress toward being rich. Budget culture upholds that fantasy as an achievable ideal and the basis for understanding money. Even as individuals continue to fail to realize the fantasy, our approach to money feeds off the never-ending pursuit of that ideal. 3. Debt isnt a moral failing If youre not keeping a budget, how do you avoid spending money you dont have? This is the top question I get when I tell people they dont need a budget. A belief that you cant trust yourself not to overspend drives many people to start budgeting. The only way to spend money you dont have is to use credit or loans and take on debt. I argue thats not something you have to avoid. Debt is one of many available resources, like earned income, community resources, or assets. Using debt is a way to expand your resources to live your life when you cant or dont want to expand your income or other resources. Choosing when and how to use debt and how to deal with it are financial decisions, not moral or ethical ones. We use shame in budget culture to keep people from accessing debt, which only serves to perpetuate unequal access to the lifestyle those resources could buy. Carrying debt doesnt make you a bad or irresponsible person. Choosing when and how to use debt and how to deal with it are financial decisions, not moral or ethical ones. Carrying debt also wont destroy your life the way budget culture makes you believe. You can understand how debt products like credit cards and loans work and know the consequences tied to various ways you might deal with them. Having that knowledge lets you decide how to deal with debt in a way that supports your goals. 4. Money is meant to be spent Budget culture trains you to believe spending is bad and that youre a failure for giving in to it. But spending money is often the right choice because its necessary for nourishment, connection, and fostering joy. Letting go of shame from spending is vital to overcoming budget culturebut so is letting go of self-satisfaction from restricting. Succeeding at restriction might make you feel like budgeting works for you, but its just the flip side of shaming yourself for spending. Letting go of the perceived control a budget ives you might feel scary because budget culture has taught you not to trust yourself around money. Once youve rejected the premise of budgeting, you must learn to trust yourself to spend money without destroying your life. Trusting yourself to use money without fear is what I call conscious spending. Setting restrictive limits on how to use money for things you love and value is impractical. My goal with money management isnt to create new restrictions or give you another difficult chore to manage. A budget-free approach is about being able to say yes more often when youre wondering whether to spend money. Budget cultures lionizing of restriction has probably messed with your ability to know how you truly want to use money. Trying to reject budgeting without a way to trust yourself could throw you right back into a cycle of splurging and restricting. To avoid that cycle, it is important to learn conscious spending practices that rely on trusting your gut. Practicing conscious spending is about yielding to your innate wisdom to guide your money moves, instead of looking at an outside set of rules to determine what you should do. Just about any mindfulness practice that speaks to you will hone your self-awareness toward conscious spending. Some strategies you can try include: Create checkpoints that encourage you to reflect on spending decisions before making them, like a reminder note in your wallet. Use a spending diary to temporarily note how youre spending money and what it adds to your life. Imagine your ideal day and how you can use money to support it. Notice your hormone cycles and how they impact your decision-making. Do somatic exercises to learn to listen to your body. Practice meditation or prayer to become more mindful. 5. What you own isnt truly yours Advice about money tends to focus on how to get more and give away less. Budget culture treats money as the end goal, so advice is focused on having money in the end. That misses the point of using money to live a life. It also ignores the fact that if youre tapping into your intuition and understanding your place in a community of humans, generosity with money is a must. Unfortunately, in our culture, thinking about giving money away can raise feelings of fear and scarcity. Budget culture messaging amplifies and reinforces those feelings through budgeting habits and an individualistic mindset. Budget culture makes generosity feel foolish. A scarcity mindset makes you see lack and competition instead of abundance. Our cultural approach to money trains us to believe we never have what we need and theres not enough to go around. Our cultures focus on individual responsibility makes it hard to be generous and easy to ignore someone elses needs. You can begin to break down that belief by first understanding that nothing is truly yours to begin with. The difference between seeing scarcity in the world and seeing abundance is understanding that whatever you own isnt truly yours; its just in your care for now. Money is a tool to shape the world around you. When you hold it in your hands, you are responsible for contributing to that world in a life-giving way. Dont fear scarcity when you give money away or use it to benefit someone else. Their gain isnt your loss because there was never a difference between your money and their money in the first place. Look for opportunities to give money away, including through direct gifts, charities, and taxes. We can embrace joy, abundance, and generosity in our relationship with money by letting go of the scarcity mindset budget culture has instilled in us. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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E-Commerce
If youre under 40, ageism probably hasnt crossed your mind muchyet. And thats okay. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I wasnt thinking about it, either. But theres something about entering that sixth decade that makes ageism glaringly real. And unfortunately, it’s not just someone elses problem; its everyones problem. I recently turned 50, and this topic has become so personal that I realize we need to talk about it more. And more importantly, we need to act on it. A recent study revealed that when recruiting potential employees, 56% of employers said the age where someone was too old to hire depended on the person. But of those who provided a specific age, the median too old age was 58. Frankly, I think thats generous. Based on what Ive heard from my network, the age when someone is considered too old is closer to 49. And a 2024 survey by Resume Now found that 90% of workers over 40 have experienced ageism at work. Yes, 90%! The thing about ageism is that people dont really notice it until it happens to them. Its like asking a 25-year-old, Whats your retirement plan? Theyre not thinking about a 401(k); theyre thinking about paying rent or hitting happy hour with friends. When I was 25, I wasnt worrying about whether the 50-year-old in the office had encountered ageism. Its just not on your radaruntil it is. Work-life balance gets trickier with age By the time you hit your 40s or 50s, life is really busy. Some of us are raising kids or putting them through college. Others are caring for aging parents. And all that happens when many of us are at the height of our careers, juggling more responsibilities than ever. And suddenly, your experience and senioritythe things youve worked so hard to buildcan make you a target. When companies start talking about cost-cutting, guess whos most at risk? Older, highly paid employees. Its a short-term cost saving that causes long-term problems. Experienced workers are pushed out and forced to take lower-level jobs, making them senior outcasts in the market. Its demoralizing, and its a waste of talent. Why multigenerational teams are the answer So, what can we do about it? One solution is developing and supporting multigenerational teams. Why? Because diverse teamsincluding age diversityare better for businesses. They bring a mix of perspectives, skills and life experiences that cant be replicated in a single age group. Its a beautiful balance: the energy and fresh ideas of younger workers paired with the wisdom and resilience of older ones. Ive seen it work firsthand. Recently, I was on an industry panel with people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. The insights we shared were incredible because everyones perspective was unique. The audience loved it. And the insights we provided apply to the different age groups most brands want to reach. Why wouldnt companies want to replicate that dynamic internally? Cross-mentorship is one of the best ways to make this happen at work. The stats back it up: 86% of CEOs say mentors were key to their success. Imagine how powerful it could be to create opportunities for mentorship across generations within your workplace. Everyone wins. We need to talk about age without shame or fear Weve been conditioned to hide our ageyes, especially us women. Im not talking about Botox (Im all for it, by the way). Im talking about the reluctance to admit our age at workand beyondout of fear well be seen as less capable or relevant. But hiding doesnt solve anything. In fact, it perpetuates the problem. When I was on that panel, I proudly introduced myself as representing the 50-plus crowd. I did it because we need to normalize talking about our age and proving that it doesnt define our abilities. Were still valuable, relevant and eager to contribute. The more we embrace this openly, the more we can challenge ageist assumptions. One thing Ive learned is that ageism cuts both ways. Its not just about the more visible aspect of it affecting older employees. When I became editor-in-chief of an internet startup at 24, people underestimated me because I was too young. If I were to apply to a similar position at my current age, Id probably be labeled as too old. So lets make a real commitment to stop judging peoples capabilities based on their age. If a 25-year-old applies for a VP role and has the chops, why not give them a chance? And if a 55-year-old wants to pivot into a new role, why not support that too? Everyone deserves the opportunity to grow. Maybe its not a midlife crisismaybe its just burnout Another key piece of the puzzle is addressing burnout. Lets be real: A lot of what weve traditionally called midlife crises is probably just exhaustion. Burnout can happen at any age, but by the time youve spent decades working 60-hour weeks while raising a family (or any other serious responsibility), youre bound to feel drained. Then you start yearning or pursuing life changes that make you feel rejuvenated or like youre getting a fresh start. Flexibility can make a huge difference here. And Im not just talking about short-term flexibility, like allowing your team to work from home certain days. I mean comprehensive flexibility over time. For example, sometimes, all it takes is tweaking someones role to better align with their strengths and needs. Personally, I used to love doing sales from start to finish. Now? Not so much. What I love involves a lot of collaboration. My strengths and needs have evolved, and thats a great thing. Now I want younger colleagues in the room with me, bringing fresh energy and ideas to the table. Its not about doing less; its about doing things differently to stay productive and efficient. Unfortunately, companies that prioritize short-term cost-cutting over long-term strategy are missing out on the incredible value that experienced workers bring. If youre a leader, my advice to you is this: Build multigenerational teams, encourage open dialogue about age, and create opportunities for cross-mentorship. Start thinking about how to make your workplace more inclusive of all ages. And if youre older, dont be afraid to show your ageown it, and use it to inspire others.
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E-Commerce
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