Many of us want to get promoted at work, but dont often stop to consider what that means. Moving into the executive ranks often means leading the very people you once worked alongside. And while you might attract attention with stellar performance, it’s not enough to secure your success as a leader.
As a CEO and C-Level coach, let me tell you that I, nor any of my most successful clients, would risk elevating a leader to the next level if it would lead to a systemic risk of losing talent or momentum. In those cases, Id wait to ensure that this high performer is making an effort to work on leadership quality, including their peer relationships.
Leadership requires a new skill set and, just as importantly, the respect and trust of your peers. Your colleagues’ opinions can hurt or help your ability to rise to the next level. Many professionals overlook their peer relationships, focusing instead on managing up to satisfy their boss or managing down to lead their teams performance. The reality is: If your colleagues don’t trust or support you, your promotion might never materialize. Worse, it might falter due to their feedback.
During executive coaching engagements, I often find leaders realize that they need to start paying attention to their cross-functional relationships. Then they often ask, how do I take such initiative? Where do I start?
Below are the steps that you might want to take.
Map your landscape
Start by listing all the colleagues who are critical to your teams mission and your success as a leader. Think horizontally, like your peers who report to the same manager and cross-departmental collaborators at a similar level. List them, and for each of them, consider rating the relationship based on the following factors:
How vital is it to your mission? Identify the level at which their support is critical to your KPIs, to advancing your teams agenda and your own professional success.
How frequently are you communicating? Think about how often you have a chance to talk, email, or formally meet.
What’s the quality of your communication? Determine if your interactions are purely transactional or if youve built actual rapport. Think about how productive each interaction is and what follow-up occurs.
What is the level of trust between you both? Reflect on how both parties may feel about the honesty of the exchange, the commitment to what youve discussed, and the level of political gesturing that might or might not have been present.
Once youve thought about these ratings, take it a step further. Relationships don’t evolve by accident. They require consistent effort, thoughtful communication, and mutual understanding. Use your empathy to reflect upon things like:
What drives their business agenda? Reflect on their business mission and goals. Ensure that you understand how to help them.
What seems to motivate their engagement? Thinking about a time when theyre highly engaged. Thats a peek into what motivates them and how to get the best out of them. For example, some people are motivated by public recognition, but others arent.
What tends to demotivate their engagement? Think about when that person exhibited anger, frustration, disappointment, or did not reply at all. That might be a sign that you need to modify your behavior or communication style.
Identify your sponsors and anti-sponsors
Once you create the list of people and go through this process, youll quickly realize that there are key people that you havent built relationships with. Start with those people.
Youll also realize that there are peers that will be naturally inclined to support you (sponsors) and those who might work against you (anti-sponsors). Instead of avoiding detractors, take the opportunity to address their concerns.
Reflect on why some peers may resist your rise. A client of mine once discovered that an “anti-sponsor” was frustrated by being left out of critical project discussions. Inviting them into conversations and acknowledging their expertise turned a skeptic into an advocate.
Take radical ownership
The strength of your relationships often mirrors your own behaviors. If a colleague is disengaged or resistant, consider how your actions influenced the situation. Have you been overly competitive? Dismissive of their ideas? Too focused on your own outcomes?
Leadership starts with accountability. I learned long ago the only behavior I can truly change is my own. If I wanted to improve a relationship, I had to initiate it. For example, start by saying, Something seems off in our working relationship. Can you share what it is? Maybe theres something I can do to change it. Honesty often paves the way for better collaboration.
Radical ownership involves recognizing your impact and taking action to improve, not assigning self-blame.
Step into their shoes
Empathy is your most powerful tool. Put yourself in your colleagues’ positions and consider the key pressures that they face, the resources that they have access to, and ways that you can make their lives easier. Consider what would matter to you if the roles were reversed. A simple question like, “What can I do to support you?” can open doors to meaningful dialogue.
Once, as a young leader in a fast-moving tech company, I pushed hard for more support from my marketing peers. My aggressive approach, however, only generated resentment. When I took the time to understand their pressures and resource limitations, I adjusted my requests. By expressing empathy and remorse, we found a productive path forward and collaborated successfully.
Play the long game
Building strong peer relationships requires a long-term commitment to earning respect and trust over time rather than focusing on quick wins. When you consistently demonstrate authenticity, reliability, and a commitment to shared goals, your peers will naturally see you as a leader they want to follow.
Remember, leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s ultimately rooted in inspiring others to follow willingly. Win the trust of your peers, and you’ll not likely secure your promotion, but equally thrive in the new role with their support.
