Have you ever worked under someone you just couldn’t wait to get away frommaybe to the point where youd daydream about finding a new job (or hoping theyd leave instead)? Thats what we call an Extinguisher. These leaders sap energy from their teams and throw up roadblocks that stand in the way of success. On the flip side, Generators are those leaders who inspire and empower people to reach their full potentialand theyre the ones everyone wants to work for.
Most of us want to steer clear of Extinguishers (and make sure we never become one ourselves). The trouble is, its not always obvious when youre dealing with oneat least not until youre already burned out. Thats why we conducted two major studies to pinpoint exactly how Extinguishers differ from Generators.
Our research revealed four early warning signs that can help you spot an Extinguisher before its too late.
Extinguishers hide their flaws and struggles
Extinguishers wear a mask when they come to work – hiding their true selves. They often cover up their mistakes and flaws – to be perceived as the perfect leader. Unfortunately, this creates distance between them and their employees. Can you really be open about your struggles if your leader seems perfect and untouchable? It can feel too vulnerable to share imperfections with someone who is perfect. In this situation, its hard to get the support you need because you wont feel comfortable asking for it.
Even well-meaning leaders can fall into this Extinguisher trap. Leaders want to be seen as competent and deserving of their role. So, they may feel extra pressure to keep up a facade. However, employees can sense leaders inauthenticity, decreasing trust and healthy communication on the team.
If you have never seen or heard about your leader struggling with something, if all you hear about is how perfect they are, or you feel like they are being fake, watch out. You may be working for an Extinguisher.
Extinguishers dont care about your personal life
Adding to the distance between them and their employees, Extinguishers do not want to hear about employees personal lives. They dont care about whats going on with you outside of work and see conversations about your partner, pets, or other important aspects of your life as irrelevant. Extinguishers also fail to share anything about themselves with their employees. This is because Extinguishers believe that you shouldnt bring your personal life to work – and view these two spheres as separate.
Why is this a problem? If a leader doesnt know you, how can they know how to support you? Extinguishers dont understand you as a whole person. They are focusing solely on your work. But, what happens if something awful occurs in your personal life that has clear implications for your work? What if you need extra time or some flexibility to manage life stressors? Extinguishers dont want to hear it and, thus, wont give you the support that you need.
If you feel like your leader knows nothing about who you are as a person, you are likely working for an Extinguisher.
Extinguishers never disconnect from work
Extinguishers never take a break. In fact, they often brag about working late at night or early in the morning. You get emails from them at all hours of the day and while they are supposedly on vacation. For example, on Sunday nights, Extinguishers might send tons of messages in preparation for the busy week they are about to create for you. This can create pressures to respond when employees are supposed to be disconnecting. But, Extinguishers do not believe in work-life balance. They prioritize work over life – and often expect you to do the same.
Unfortunately, Extinguishers bad examples create harmful expectations. Actions are much louder than words – when leaders never disconnect, neither will their employees. Plus, employees start to believe that being always on is required to get to the next level. This can create unsustainable expectations about what it takes to be a leader.
If you never see your leader disconnect or if you consistently get messages during off hours, you are probably working for an Extinguisher.
Extinguishers believe theres only one right way
Finally, Extinguishers think theres one right way to do everything – and its their way. How do you become a leader? By following their exact path. How do you achieve that big goal? By taking the steps they would take. Extinguishers dont recognize that there are many ways to be successful.
This is a recipe for disaster. Processes will never evolve and improve if organizations stick to the way its always been done. Plus, we know that career paths do not look the same for everyone. Your strengths, background, and goals are unique. Each leader makes it to the top in their own way. Extinguishers discourage uniqueness and make it harder to lead authentically.
If your manager shoots down new ideas, only offers advice based on their own experiences, and micromanages you to do things exactly their way, theres a good chance youre dealing with an Extinguisher.
If you spot these warning signs, think about ways to build a support system that can help protect you from their negative behavior. If youre feeling courageous, you might even try sharing some feedback so they have the opportunity to grow. Its also wise to start mapping out a plan to move on before things get worse. And when youre interviewing for a new role, dont forget to ask some probing questions to see if your potential new boss shows any of these red flags. Its the best way to avoid jumping from one Extinguisher to another.
