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Altadena Girls began as a pop-up shop immediately after the Eaton Fire tore through Los Angeles, born out of a desire to help affected teenage girls regain a sense of their identity. The mission was simple yet profound: offer a space where they could rebuild what had been lostclothing, makeup, and other items that help define who they are. The impact was significant as it reached more than 42 million people on social media in the first few weeks while receiving support from high-level brands and celebrities. Now, Altadena Girls is planning to open a community center dedicated to empowering young girls, helping them through trauma, and providing long-term support. [Photo: Allen J. Schaben/Los Angeles Times/Getty Images] In the Beginning Avery Colvert, 14, started Altadena Girls as a way to help her friends who had lost everything in the fires. Shelters and donation spaces had necessities like food, water, and blankets, so Colvert, who lives in Pasadena, decided to take a different approach to help those who needed more than just the bare essentials. I wanted to specifically focus on teenage girls, because when you’re a teenager and you’re still growing up and getting to know yourself, things like your clothes and your makeup and how you do your hair, it’s a piece of your identity,” Colvert says. And they lost that in the fire, so I wanted to provide a space where they could get those items back. Avery Colvert [Photo: Dunja Dumanski/courtesy Altadena Girls] The Eaton Fire, which started on January 7, claimed 17 lives as powerful winds propelled the flames across the region, giving residents little time to gather belongings before evacuating. The fire devastated the Altadena community in Los Angeles County, destroying more than 9,400 structures and scorching 14,021 acres. The road to recovery will be long and costly, with rebuilding expenses potentially costing hundreds of billions of dollars. Meanwhile, there are concerns about the long-term health impacts of prolonged exposure to hazardous air quality, and the emotional toll on the region is profound. Thousands have been displaced, including longtime residents and entertainment industry veterans like Mandy Moore and Richard Cabral. Colvert first spread the word about what she wanted to do through an Instagram page she created on January 11 for Altadena Girls. Her stepfather, Matt Chait, who has a background in branding and graphic design, quickly put together a logo. They hadnt planned to start accepting donations until the following day, but the page gained traction almost immediately. Before they knew it, trucks loaded with supplies were arriving at the studio space in Boyle Heights where Colvert had set up shop. Clothing, shoes, beauty products, personal items, feminine hygiene products, and hair care filled up the space, as volunteers showed up without being askedready to help. An army of volunteers showed up from 10 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m., helped us open and close and reorganize, Colvert says. The people were able to sort clothes and make it look nice and beautiful [so that] it’s a fun experience. It’s about the memory that is left after shopping. [Photo: Allen J. Schaben/Los Angeles Times/Getty Images] The community impact was highly emotional, especially in the first few days, as families were coming to the pop-up wearing the clothes they evacuated in, says Chait, who cofounded Altadena Girls with Colvert and her mother, Lauren Sandidge. As time went on, he noticed a shift in terms of what people were looking for, and how they acted when coming in. There wasnt so much of a desperation as much as a hope and a lot of interest in whats next, Chait says. They were happy to come in and get the things they needed, but also see this beautiful space and wonder, Where else is it going from here? Sandidge says it quickly became clear that what they were doing went far beyond physical items. “I think what resonated with us, just overall, is that this was about mental health. Help From Celebrities As Altadena Girls grew, it began attracting attention from prominent figures in Los Angeles. Celebrities including Paris Hilton, Kerry Washington, Gwyneth Paltrow, Max Greenfield, Tess Sanchez, Karla Welch, Mindy Kaling, and Jennifer Siebel Newsom played a role in amplifying the nonprofits mission. Meghan Markle and the Archewell Foundation were also instrumental in the organization’s success. Markle donated her own clothes and spent time carrying bags of supplies out to peoples cars, while the Archewell Foundation helped Altadena Girls secure the lease on its new building. They’re just so kind, and they have such a huge platform. It’s really cool seeing someone with that many fans and followers share something like this, says Colvert./p> In late January, Green Days Billie Joe Armstrong played a Los Angeles concert with his side project the Coverups at L.A.s Troubadour, with proceeds going to a number of relief organizations, Altadena Girls being one of them. Brands like Skims, Orebella, Huda Beauty, Rare Beauty, and R.e.m. Beauty also donated clothes and makeup to Altadena Girls. [Photo: courtesy Altadena Girls] Working as a Family This entire experience has brought Colvert’s family closer than ever. Since her school, Eliot Arts Magnet Academy, burned down in the fires, she has been attending remotelygiving the family more time together than they’ve had since the COVID-19 lockdowns. But this time, rather than feeling trapped and helpless, they’re all working to make Altadena Girls a permanent fixture. For Avery to be exposed to how much work goes into something like this, both on the floor, but also the meetings and negotiations and contracts, Im glad she gets to see how much work there is, Chait says. For Sandidge and Chait, it has been both eye-opening and rewarding to navigate this journey as life partners and now business partners. Seeing their daughter through others eyes has been especially meaningful. To see strengths that are not always recognized in a traditional school setting, to see people validate [Avery] and tell her, You are amazing, being a leader is good has been meaningful, Sandidge says, noting theyve been equally grateful to have all of these really strong, powerful women volunteers show up. [Photo: courtesy Altadena Girls] At first, people were eager to send checks and cash donations to support Altadena Girls, but without the proper infrastructure in place, it wasnt in a position to accept funds. Within days, it secured a fiscal sponsorship through the Edward Charles Foundation. With support from the Archewell Foundation, Altadena Girls set up a pledge link account, ensuring that every donation was properly documented as soon as it started accepting monetary funds. We didnt want to get any dollars to ourselves personally at all, so it wasnt until everything was locked and ready [that we started accepting monetary donations]. Now that is the best way for people to support us, Chait says. [Photo: courtesy Altadena Girls] Future Plans After addressing the immediate needs of the community, Colvert and her parents quickly realized they were ready to expand into something bigger. Two weeks later, when the headlines go away, there are long-term impacts that are mental and emotional and sometimes even financial,” says Chait. “I already started to see some of the other pop-ups around town closing their doors and moving on to the next thing.” With a vision for long-term impact, their realtor found them an empty location that used to be a bank in Old Town Pasadena, with enough space to have therapy rooms, music studios, and even a dance studio in the basement. [Photo: courtesy Altadena Girls] Im very excited about this because were going to offer dance, yoga, and movement. Were going to offer mental health resources. Were going to offer music practice areas, music lessons, Colvert says, noting that she was inspired to expand the offerings after the destruction of her own school meant that students no longer had access to dance, theater, or film classes. We have a big multipurpose space where lots of people want to give training and lectures and teach anything from cooking to hair to taxes. Colvert is passionate about providing resources that arent typically taught in schools. While creativity will be a big part of the space, there will also be classes focused on business and entrepreneurship. Personally . . . sometimes in school, I didnt feel as empowered. I felt brought down in certain areas,” she says. “And I want to just uplift girls.” Though the 12,000-square-foot space currently looks drab and gray, Colvert has big plans to transform it. With Pinterest boards, collages, and a wealth of ideas, she envisions a vibrant, welcoming spacepink and full of creativitythat will be perfect for the girls. As they work to transform the space, funding will be essential to making it happen. Weve got the product, weve got the partnerships, we also have a very big monthly bill when it comes to rent and utilities and even food for the volunteers and trash hauling, and all sorts of stuff. Right now, financial donations are what will allow us to move forward in the future, Chait says. The location is also ideal. On a busy, well-lit corner near a police station and high-end restaurants, the space is easily accessible by public transportation, and girls can be dropped off safely. This central location played a significant role in the decision to move forward. Altadena Girls expects to open its doors in late March or early April. “It’s going to feel special, feel clean, safe . . . like something different, Sandidge says. And hopefully we can send the message to all of these girls that they have worth and they deserve to have a nice, beautiful space.
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People with a healthy limit on their screen time probably havent noticedbut theres been a meme shortage this March. On TikTok, some have declared a full-blown “Meme Drought,” dubbing it the Great Meme Depression of 2025. The panic began on March 10, when user @goofangel posted a video titled TikTok Great Depression March 2025. He says, Nine days into March and we havent had a single original meme. The post quickly racked up nearly a million views and clearly struck a chord, if the comments are any indication. @goofangel #tiktok #brainrot #brainrotquiz #funny #unemployment original sound – goofangel October to February was an insane run, one commenter reminisced, recalling a time when everyone was holding space for “Defying Gravity” andwho remembers when everyone collectively joined Red Note for a minute? Does the millennial burger restaurant count? another asked. Subarus kinda funny, but not laughing funny, yk? someone else added. But as @goofangel pointed out, the “I Call Patrick Subaru” meme actually originated in 2021. The Great Meme Depression soon became a meme itself, as TikTokers flooded the platform with meta-commentary. How the Great March Meme Drought will be described in history books, one user posted, alongside a slideshow of images from the Great Depression circa 1929. Another creator shared a video featuring TikTok influencers faces captioned: When mfs say they grew up poor but never had to live through the Great Meme Depression. @de.novo12 Worst than a recession #march#marchmemedrought #fyp #funny original sound – maystxn Others joked about the surreal nature of it all. How it feels to realize The Great Meme Drought of March is actually a meme itself, one added. With the trend cycle running faster than ever, meme culture may simply be unable to keep pace. The insatiable demand for viral content has left us trapped in an algorithmic loop, now recycling the same tired material weve already scrolled past. Rather than forcing it, maybe this temporary drought is a chance to pause. Set some limits on screen timeand actually stick to them. Read a book or finally watch Severance. At least until the next viral moment comes along.
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Caroline Fleck, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and adjunct clinical instructor at Stanford University. She received a BA in psychology and English from the University of Michigan and an MA and PhD from the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke. Fleck has served as a supervisor and consultant for some of the most rigorous clinical training programs in the country, and has been featured in national media outlets, including the The New York Times, Good Morning America, and HuffPost. In her private practice, Fleck specializes in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and other cognitive behavioral treatments for mood, anxiety, and personality disorders. Flecks corporate work focuses on strengthening company cultures and individual performance. She implements custom training programs for Fortune 500 companies and provides executive coaching to industry leaders worldwide. Whats the big idea? The secret to influencing others isnt about persuasionits about validation. In Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life, Fleck reveals how acknowledging and accepting others experiences can strengthen relationships, defuse conflicts, and even increase self-compassion. Through captivating stories and actionable techniques, she introduces eight powerful skills to harness validations transformative impact. Validation uncovers how truly seeing and being seen is the key to lasting change. Below, Fleck shares five key insights from her new book. Listen to the audio versionread by Fleck herselfin the Next Big Idea App. 1. Validation is not what you think it is. My technical definition of validation is that it communicates mindfulness, understanding, and empathy in ways that convey acceptance. If I were to translate that into a mantra, it would be, Validation shows that youre there, you get it, and you care. Validation is not praise: Praise is a judgment. It says, I like the way you look or perform. Validation demonstrates acceptance. It says, I accept who you are, independent of how you look or perform. When people claim that we shouldnt rely on external validation, they are confusing validation with praise. Validation is not problem-solving: Problem-solving focuses on changing someones reaction by suggesting solutions to their, e.g., I know you didnt do well on that spelling test; why dont we try reviewing your words on the way to school next time? Validation, on the other hand, focuses on acknowledging the situation and the validity of someones response to it: You studied so hard; I can understand why you are upset. Validation is not agreement: I can validate why someone would have concerns about protecting an unborn fetus, even if I am pro-choice. If the idea of validating an opinion you disagree with makes you nervous, rest assured that validating another persons perspective does not necessarily function to reinforce it. On the contrary, people tend to get entrenched in their views when they feel like they have to defend their own position or attack yours. A validating response from you leaves nothing to attack, much less anything to defend against. So again, validation shows that youre there, you get it, and you care. It is not praise, problem-solving, or agreement. 2. Validation is like MDMA for your relationships. Validation improves relationships by transforming how they feel, increasing trust, intimacy, and psychological safety. Research has consistently shown validation to be among the strongest predictors of relational outcomes, ranging from commitment to quality across various types of relationships. This is really important given the effect relationships have on our health and life expectancy. Having poor social relationships is associated with the same death rate as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Data show that the quality of a persons relationships can increase their probability of surviving by 50%. Importantly, validation is critical to all our relationships, including the one we have with ourselves. Knowing how to validate your own emotions is essential to developing self-compassion and improving how you relate to yourself. I have many more tips on how to cultivate self-validation in the book. Validation is also particularly helpful in the context of conflict. Its basically like adding an adorable cat filter to yourself during a videoconferencing meetingit makes you immediately less threatening and infinitely harder to argue with. Why? The answer appears to be in how it affects the validated persons physiology. As someone becomes more upset, their ability to reason, recall, and focus sharply decreases. Their sympathetic nervous system takes over, reducing their response options to fight, flight, or freeze. Validation tempers this responseit reduces sympathetic arousal and enhances a persons ability to reason and engage in perspective-taking. Validating individuals in highly stressful situations has been shown to lower their heart rate, galvanic skin response (sweating), and negative emotions. Unsurprisingly, invalidation has demonstrated the opposite effect, increasing distress and conflict. 3. Research suggests that validation is a catalyst for change. I made this point earlier when discussing how validation is used in DBT. However, neuroimaging research can help us understand whats happening here. The question of whether validation can drive people to change their behavior hinges on the degree to which it is perceived as rewarding. Anything that is rewarding has the potential to serve as positive reinforcementa reward given after a behavior that increases the likelihood that the behavior will be repeated. For instance, if a dog that has been rewarded with a treat for sitting on command is more likely to sit on command in the future, we know that the treat functioned to positively reinforce her behavior. Positive reinforcement activates the reward center of our brain, releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine that create feelings of pleasure. For instance, opioids, orgasms, and cash giveaways all produce this effect. Neuroimaging studies have demonstrated that feeling understood stimulates these same reward centers as well as areas linked to social connectedness. Returning to our question of whether validation is enjoyable enough to prompt behavioral change, the answer is a resounding yes. 4. Validation is a skill set anyone can master. Therapists are trained in specific skills to help them reliably and authentically communicate validation. In Validation, I describe how Ive adapted these therapist skills so they can be used by anyone in any relationship. The model I developed is called the Validation Ladder. It includes three subsets of skills that map onto each of the three main qualities of validation. Youve got two skills for conveying mindfulness, three for understanding, and three for empathy. Validation only works if its authentic, so if you dont understand or empathize with soeones experience, the Mindfulness skills might be all you can use. An example of a Mindfulness Skill is Attending, which requires you to focus on answering this two-part question: 1) Whats a better way to make this persons point?2) Why does it matter to them? You dont need to communicate your insights. As a mindfulness skill, these questions are designed to inform how you listen. By focusing on these questions, youre more likely to signal engagement and naturally ask more targeted questions, rather than concentrating on your rebuttal or allowing your mind to wander. To apply understanding skills, you need to genuinely see the logic in someones response. An example of an understanding skill is Equalizing, or normalizing. If you can imagine that you would react similarly to whatever the other person is experiencing, you simply communicate. For instance, you might say, Anyone in your shoes would want a second opinion or I would have done the same thing. By indicating that someones reaction is consistent with what you would think, feel, or do in that situation, you convey that its understandable. Finally, the empathy skills are the most validating, as they convey mindfulness, understanding, and empathy in one fell swoop. An example of an Empathy skill is Emoting. You might tear up if someone is relaying a sad story or jump up and down when they share good news. Emoting allows you to enter into the other persons experience, not as a spectator but as an active participant. When I first learned validation skills as a therapist, I wasnt blown away by their novelty. Many of the skills in the Validation Ladder will be things youve heard of or practiced before. Their transformative power only becomes apparent once youve honed your ability to know when to use them. Validation is much like baking; the steps involved seem deceptively straightforward, but if a novice and a master baker follow the exact same recipe, the outcome will be noticeably different. Timing, technique, and understanding how to pivot when neededthese minor adjustments determine whether or not someone will appreciate or be reinforced by the treat you provide them. 5. Find the kernel of truth. You should only validate a persons experience to the extent that you actually consider it to be valid. The aim is to find the kernel of truth in someones experience and validate that. Generally speaking, a persons experience is composed of their thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Psychologists consider thoughts to be valid if they are logical or reasonable based on the facts of a situation. Behaviors are considered valid if they are effective given ones long-term goals. As for emotions, well, you can presume that emotions are always valid. Trust me, you dont want to get in the business of arguing with people about how they feel. A persons behavior and emotions may be valid even if the thoughts that gave rise to them are not, and vice versa. For example, if someone believes there is an imminent threat of an alien invasion, they would understandably feel anxious and fearful. Anxiety and fear are reasonable reactions to an impending danger. It also makes sense that this individual would vote for a politician with a plan to address the alien invasion. Their thoughts in this scenario are invalid as they are based on misinformation, but their emotions and behavior are understandable given the misinformation they are operating under. Recognizing the valid doesnt mean you cant work on changing whats invalid or problematic. On the contrary, if the last 30 years have taught us anything, its that people are much more receptive to collaborating, receiving feedback, and even changing when they feel seen in their experience. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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