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Workers who take small steps to enforce work-life balancelike setting an out-of-office message on weekends or not answering emails on vacationare often considered less committed and promotable, even when theyre encouraged to take those actions. Researchers behind a new study looking at the phenomenon are calling this the detachment paradox.” We were only looking at stuff that happens when the worker is not supposed to work, such as evenings, weekends, and vacations, says Elisa Solinas, an assistant professor of marketing at IE University in Spain and one of the papers coauthors. What we still see is that the more the worker detaches, the more harshly they get evaluated. Managers both value and punish time off The researchers split managers into two groups and gave each the same fictitious story about a hypothetical employee, only for one group the protagonist took a small action to detach from work during their off hours. Managers perceived the employee who enforced some relatively minor work-life boundaries as more focused, less stressed out, and less likely to experience burnout. However, they also perceived that employee as less dedicated to work. The same people who said that [the workers] are going to be more productive also said that they were going to be less promotable, says coauthor Eva Buechel, an assistant professor of marketing at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. So even the people who say this is really important and even encourage work-life balance penalize them [for detaching]. The researchers also came up with nearly identical results when they replaced the hypothetical workers with the managers real team members in those fictitious scenarios. Finally, researchers asked participants to describe members of their staff, including their ethnicity, age, tenure, job performance, collegiality, commitment, and whether they enforce work-life boundaries. In the end, workers who took even small actions to detach from work during their designated time off were broadly seen as less committed and less promotable by their managers. Theres significant literature on how people are evaluated differently based on things like age, ethnicity, and gender, and we didn’t really find any of that, Buechel says. I can comfortably say this [detachment] penalty has equal, if not more significance than those other worker-related biases. Give me a break With work-related stress and burnout rates on the rise, employees need more time to rest and recover, but research suggests theyre getting less of it. According to a recent survey of 2,000 American workers conducted by book summary app Headway, two-thirds of workers struggle to switch off on vacation, and more than half have experienced conflicts with loved ones over their inability to unplug while away. Just 4% of workers are left alone on vacation; the rest get bombarded with emails, messages, and calls, says Thalia-Maria Tourikis, a health coach and burnout prevention and recovery expert for Headway. Workers are encouraged to take time off, then pestered with emails and messages the moment they do, to the point of guilt, anxiety, insomnia, and burnout. Thanks to technology, there are few physical barriers between employees and their increasingly digital workplaces. As a result, Tourikis says, many struggle to mentally detach from work, even when theyre far from the office. Taking time off shouldnt feel like a sin, she says. If we want to be healthier and happier, we have to stop glorifying constant availability and start respecting annual leave. Small breaks can make a big difference Vacations have traditionally been considered an employee indulgence that came at the expense of their employers, but new research suggests the benefits are mutual, and more significant than previously understood. The prevailing assumption was vacation offers small benefits for well-being, and they fade quickly when you get back to work, says Ryan Grant, a doctoral student in psychology at the University of Georgia who recently coauthored a meta-analysis on vacations and employee well-being. We found the benefits were pretty huge. Grant explains that the energizing effects of time off are actually 85% greater than previously suggested, and those effects persisted much longer, fading gradually over an average of about 43 days. According to the study, the most significant factor in determining the size and longevity of that post-vacation well-being boost was the ability to detach from work while away. It was the only recovery activity that had a strong positive association with well-being both during and after the vacation, Grant says. That suggests the more you psychologically detach during vacationthe less you check your email, communicate with coworkers, and just think about work generallythe better your vacation is going to be, and the larger your well-being benefits are going to be after. Detachment offers a win-win for employees and managers But this isnt just about enjoying that week in the sun or on the slopes. When workers can fully detach from work, their employers often benefit in the form of higher employee morale, resilience, and productivity, as well as lower healthcare costs, absenteeism, and turnover rates. [Managers] are trying to improve the organizations bottom line and improve employee performance, but not allowing people the time to detach and recover directly opposes that goal, Grant says. They’re actually doing things that run directly counter to what they’re trying to accomplish. While the occasional late-night email or Saturday phone call may seem inconsequential in the moment, Grant says such actions leave workers in constant fear of having their downtime interrupted, making it harder to fully recharge while away from work. In the short term, you’re like, Well, I need this thing done today, so I’m going to email my subordinate and say I want them to do this thing tonight, he says. But if you look at things in the longer term, the more you’re not allowing people to detach on a daily basis, the more the negative effects on their health and performance are going to increase over time.
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A few years ago, I met a woman at a networking event who whispered her confession over a plastic cup of chardonnay: I love my job. Im proud of what Ive built. But every time I miss a school play or forget to sign a field trip form, I feel like I failed them. She didnt say who them referred to. Perhaps her kids, society, herself. Maybe all three. That moment stuck with me because it symbolized the tension so many ambitious parents live with every day: The drive to achieve versus the guilt that comes from not always being present for our family. And lets be clear, this isnt just a working mom issue. Dads feel it. Stay-at-home parents with side hustles or passion projects feel it. Anyone who wants something outside of parenthoodwhether its a promotion, a creative dream, or even just a regular workout routineknows that familiar battle between showing up for yourself and showing up for your kids. Where does the guilt come from? Lets start with the root of this guilt. For many of us, especially women, ambition and parenting, have long been thought of as rival (if not warring) priorities. A parent who is all-in at work is assumed to be checked out at home. The culture tells us you cant be fully present in both places. And if you try, be prepared to be stretched thinner than a toddlers patience in a long checkout line. {"blockType":"creator-network-promo","data":{"mediaUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2015\/08\/erikaaslogo.png","headline":"Girl, Listen: A Guide to What Really Matters","description":"Ericka dives into the heat of modern motherhood, challenging the notion that personal identity must be sacrificed at the altar of parenting. ","substackDomain":"https:\/\/erickasouter.substack.com\/","colorTheme":"blue","redirectUrl":""}} Social media certainly doesnt help. While were eating chips over our laptops, we scroll past moms packing bento box lunches with star-shaped cucumbers and love notes. We see dads coaching every Saturday soccer game while were FaceTiming from a hotel room on yet another work trip. The comparison game is brutal. Yet, guilt doesnt only come from comparing ourselves to the parents who treat lunch prep like a Top Chef challenge. It hits because we care. Ambitious parents arent just chasing promotions, were also chasing snuggles, bedtime stories, and the sense that were nailing this whole being a present parent thing. So if we fall short, it feels like a dagger to the heart. Is it possible to be ambitious and a great parent? The short answer is yes. But not without first redefining what great really looks like. Being a good parent isnt about being there for every single moment. Its about being there for the ones that matter most. You can miss the bake sale and still raise a kid that feels cared for and secure. What children need more than perfection is a realistic role model. They need to see what it looks like to pursue a dream, have challenges, set boundaries, and show up for the people you love. When its rooted in purpose, ambition teaches kids resilience, how to manage their time and what it looks like to care deeply about something. That doesnt mean we should be so focused on the next achievement that we miss whats happening right in front of us. The key is staying in syncpursuing your goals without neglecting your childs needs . . . or your own. {"blockType":"creator-network-promo","data":{"mediaUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2015\/08\/erikaaslogo.png","headline":"Girl, Listen: A Guide to What Really Matters","description":"Ericka dives into the heat of modern motherhood, challenging the notion that personal identity must be sacrificed at the altar of parenting. ","substackDomain":"https:\/\/erickasouter.substack.com\/","colorTheme":"blue","redirectUrl":""}}
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Ever since AI chatbots arrived, it feels as if the media has been on the losing end of a war of attrition. Chatbots are surging in popularity, and the more people use AI to get answers instead of search results, the fewer visits to the websites that provide those answers. Even Google, whose business model depends on monetizing search, is pushing deeper into AI, and industry data shows AI bots are flourishing. However, actions have a habit of inspiring reactions. Lawsuits are mounting as more media companies take on the AI giants over copyright, which may yet prove decisiverecent rulings notwithstanding. And publishers are increasing their website defenses against AI crawlers, blocking more of them than ever. And now we may have hit a tipping point: Cloudflare, a major internet infrastructure provider, has taken a stand in the conflict. In an announcement designed for maximum impact, the company said it would begin blocking AI scrapers by default on the websites it manages. If you’re a site operator on Cloudflare’s network, you will now need to actively allow AI bots to index your content. If you don’t, they get blocked. {"blockType":"creator-network-promo","data":{"mediaUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/03\/mediacopilot-logo-ss.png","headline":"Media CoPilot","description":"Want more about how AI is changing media? Never miss an update from Pete Pachal by signing up for Media CoPilot. To learn more visit mediacopilot.substack.com","substackDomain":"https:\/\/mediacopilot.substack.com\/","colorTheme":"blue","redirectUrl":""}} Clout in the cloud Cloudflare manages about 20% of all internet traffic, so the implications of the move are significant. And so is the business opportunity: With the announcement, Cloudflare is also launching a marketplace for bot traffic. Instead of blocking AI bots completely, site owners will be able to charge them a fee for access via the new Pay Per Crawl programessentially a micropayment system. A few startups, such as TollBit and ScalePost, operate similar systems, but considering CloudFlare’s scale, it may have instantly become their biggest competitor. Cloudflare is a content delivery network (CDN), a crucial but largely invisible part of the internet to most users. A CDN will cache content to keep it closer to end users, generally speeding up web traffic. It runs many other related services, toothings like preventing distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attacks, enabling secure connections, and hosting websitesbut mostly it’s a middleman between website visitors and website servers, optimizing delivery and ensuring security. The way AI bots interact with websites is usually managed by each site’s Robots Exclusion Protocol (robots.txt), but it’s largely an honor system that depends on bots accurately identifying themselves and then following the rules, which they tend to liberally interpret. Cloudflare’s influence isn’t regulation per se, but it may give that standard some de facto teeth. The company claims it “identifies and distinguishes AI crawlers through its sophisticated bot detection system.” If that means Cloudflare can detect, trace, and perhaps even punish bad actors who ignore or bypass the protocol, it could mean the tides are turning. However, there is the nagging reality of the other 80% of the internet. Other CDN giants, such as Akamai, would need to get on board to really have an effect, but even that would only amount to about half of web activity. And large parts of the rest of the internet aren’t motivated to act: Google, Meta, and Microsoft operate much of the infrastructure that supports their massive, scalable businesses, and they’re all in the business of building AI models so they have an interest in maximizing AI crawler activity. Still, the pushback is real. Cloudflare’s announcement was deeply planned: the press release includes quotes from dozens of media executivesfrom Time to Dotdash Meredith and even content-based tech platforms like Quora. Although some in the group are media players who are suing AI companies, you get the sense that the others are using this moment to voice their own indignation at what they see as the wide-scale theft of the lifeblood of their industry. That indignation is fueling a new consensus, which is reflected in the many content licensing deals publishers have signed with AI companies over the past two years: that AI summarization should require some form of compensation. Monetizing the internet of bots The Cloudflare news gives publishers a more solid foundation to not just mount a defense against AI bots, but to build on that consensusto turn the rising robot activity into an opportunity. A comprehensive strategy around the growing “internet of bots” should include three elements: Block or introduce a toll for AI scraping: Identifying bots is conceptually straightforward, but has practical challenges because they multiply and sometimes mask what they are. Build for bots: Publishers should build a good user experience, and that goes for bots, tooas long as they pay to get in. They should have real-time access to simply presented, accurate information to fuel the best possible summaries, with correct citations. Build branded AI experiences: For the people who do come to your site, give them a reason to stay. Going back to ChatGPT for every query isn’t idealfor anyone. The third element is important because, while publishers are threatened by unscrupulous AI bots, they can’t deny that people still want to use them. AI answers remove friction andare changing expectations around searcheven site search. Publishers shouldn’t just acknowledge that, but take advantage of it to keep audiences on its own site. All of this depends on being able to separate bot traffic from human traffic. And if Cloudflare is indeed only the first CDN to make this move, there’s a hope that publishers won’t have to wait for a favorable court ruling or new regulations to get the teeth they need. However, there is still a role that the government can play. Cloudflare’s sophisticated bot detection would have an even greater effect if it were illegal for bots to hide their true nature and try to pass for humans. Such a rule would be simple and strongly encourage a fairer information ecosystem, one where publishers can start designing the right experiences for the right audiences. If the future of websites is to serve up the best experience to a bot, they should at least have clarity on what that is. {"blockType":"creator-network-promo","data":{"mediaUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/03\/mediacopilot-logo-ss.png","headline":"Media CoPilot","description":"Want more about how AI is changing media? Never miss an update from Pete Pachal by signing up for Media CoPilot. To learn more visit mediacopilot.substack.com","substackDomain":"https:\/\/mediacopilot.substack.com\/","colorTheme":"blue","redirectUrl":""}}
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